Wilco: Milo left squad chat, so I can't yell at him
Wilco: the rest is up to him
Igfig:  3#1d20+5 vs: wilco, hero, thorn
Fortuna: Igfig, vs wilco: [8] = 13; vs hero: [16] = 21; vs thorn: [5] = 10
Heronius_XVI: nice.
Igfig: Colon and commas,
Heronius_XVI: 2#1d20vs: A1, A2
Jonas: That's cool.
Igfig: Semicolon is still regular comnments
Heronius_XVI: 2#1d20 vs: A1, A2
Fortuna: Heronius_XVI, vs A1: [12] = 12; vs A2: [17] = 17
Heronius_XVI: 2#1d20 vs: A1, A2; Reflex
Fortuna: Heronius_XVI, vs A1: [16] = 16; vs A2: [13] = 13
Wilco: soo...
Wilco: 2#1d20 vs: Igfig, Jonas
Fortuna: Wilco, vs Igfig: [3] = 3; vs Jonas: [10] = 10
Igfig: but it still needs some testing, so it may do odd things
Wilco: radical
Igfig: anyway
Igfig: LAST TIME
Igfig: you found a lot of treasure, and then finished repairing all the stuff in this complex, guided by some kind of smiley face on the computer screens
Igfig: and much fun was had by all
Heronius_XVI: ...Indeed.
Wilco: huzzah
Igfig: So, now.
Igfig: You activate the big machine again. This time it works.
Igfig: Long mechanical limbs unfold as the central machinery begins to spin and hum
Slim_Bankshot: 1d20
Fortuna: Slim_Bankshot, 1d20: [13] = 13
Igfig: They flex and pick at the web of cables strung across the ceiling
Igfig: delicately pulling strands aside from a monolithic shape
Igfig: a great spheroid slowly extruding itself
Slim_Bankshot: 1d20
Fortuna: Slim_Bankshot, 1d20: [19] = 19
Igfig: and at the front, half buried in the machinery,
Igfig: is a portly, middle-aged man.
Wilco: Can.. can we punch him?
Heronius_XVI: No..
Slim_Bankshot: "Hello gentlemen."
Slim_Bankshot: Wait a sec
Wilco: I dunno it feels weird that nothing is being punched now that BD isn't here
Heronius_XVI: "Greetings,
Wilco: "Hello"
MiloMagnus: How are ya?
Wilco: THE
Wilco: NOT YOU AGAIN
MiloMagnus: Wait
Heronius_XVI: "I am Heronius Napalm XVI, and these are the people I travel with."
The_CEO: They don't let you use spaces?
MiloMagnus: who is the?
Wilco: Nope
Heronius_XVI: "Who, are you."
Igfig: nope
Heronius_XVI: "?"
MiloMagnus: it is against the rules
The_CEO: "I,"
MiloMagnus: He is "I"
The_CEO: "Am the CEO of Chiron Cany Coin Co."
The_CEO: *candy
Heronius_XVI: "ahh, the makers of the chocolate coins we found previously."
Wilco: Mmmmmm
MiloMagnus: You mean those chocolate coinswrapped in the foil?
Heronius_XVI: "We are familiar with your work."
The_CEO: "That is correct sir."
Wilco: It's delicious
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "And the previous owners of the boat we salvaged."
Poen joined #pwot_dnd.
Heronius_XVI: "What, exactly, are you going here.
Heronius_XVI: "
MiloMagnus: i assume you heard from my lawyer about the stomach rupture?
The_CEO: "Wishing I wasn't, honestly..."
The_CEO: "Do you see this machine?"
Heronius_XVI: "I hope so."
MiloMagnus: the big one?
Wilco: "What does it do?"
The_CEO: "The machine I am in was once upon a time used tio run not only the factories that produced the coins,"
The_CEO: "But many things that helped the entire planet function as a society."
Heronius_XVI: "A powerful object indeed."
The_CEO: "Yes."
The_CEO: "Alas,"
Heronius_XVI: (picture heronius looking intriged, the sort of look he gets when he smells money.)
Wilco: (Picture wilco hungry)
Heronius_XVI: (I never picture anything else)
The_CEO: "When the elves struck, the damage was such that I was never replaced."
The_CEO: "You see,"
The_CEO: "When A new CEO is elected, he takes the place of the previous one in this machine."
The_CEO: "It cannot go empty."
Heronius_XVI: I now have a bad feeling.
The_CEO: "When the elves attacked, I was cut off as the planet collapsed."
The_CEO: "And I was never replaced."
Heronius_XVI: "How long ago was that?"
The_CEO: "Far, far too long."
Poen: "Hear, hear."
Heronius_XVI: "hmmmm"
MiloMagnus: hugs
The_CEO: "After so many years without sunlight, I have lost all concept of time."
Heronius_XVI: "And you haven't aged?"
The_CEO: "I long to be free of this machine. This... This prison."
The_CEO: "But the seat cannot go empty."
MiloMagnus: or else what?
Wilco: "So one of us is going to have to fill it..."
Heronius_XVI: "What do you do inside of the machine?"
Poen: "I vote Wilco."
The_CEO: "With this machine,"
MiloMagnus: This isn't a problem
The_CEO: "I can control everything."
MiloMagnus: that is a problem
Wilco: "I don't think I'll fit"
Heronius_XVI: "What kind of anything?"
Heronius_XVI: everything*
The_CEO: "I have been able to watch you since your arrival on the planet."
Poen: "If we squished you in, you just might."
The_CEO: "Guide you to where I am."
Heronius_XVI: "Prick"
Poen: "Dude, you made us go through all that?"
Poen: "You are a total jerk."
Igfig: (Actually, Wilco, it's designed for heavy-set individuals.  These guys are the CEOs of a chocolate company, after all)
The_CEO: "I need your help."
Wilco: (Shit, I might just take that mantel then, fuckin chocolate)
Heronius_XVI: "And what are you willing to provide in return?"
Poen: "What do you want us to do?"
Heronius_XVI: quiet you.
MiloMagnus: We better not get paid in fucking chocolate coins
The_CEO: "If you can help me, I will not only reward you,"
Thorn_the_Gnoll grunts.
MiloMagnus: will you put lasers on our ship?
The_CEO: "But help you exact revenge on those that did this to me."
Wilco: "Can't we just put a squirrel in there or something?"
Heronius_XVI: "You lot shut it."
The_CEO: "And those that wish to silence your music."
MiloMagnus: hang on
Heronius_XVI: "So, going back to this reward."
MiloMagnus: are you saying you could make us the baddest band of the planet?
Heronius_XVI: "What kind of reward?"
MiloMagnus: The power to rock, obviously
Heronius_XVI: Quiet you.
The_CEO: "When I took this chaier, it was a dream come true. But my term, and my time on this earth, is long overdue to end."
Poen: "He said 'not only', so we get the power to rock and something else, right? Mister, please cut to the chase. What are we getting in return for helping you?"
Heronius_XVI: Yes, yes, death and all that. What about the money?
The_CEO: "Beyond this chamber lies the vault. As well as a direct exit."
Heronius_XVI: Perfect.
Heronius_XVI: Let's be off then.
The_CEO: "I would give you all that is inside."
Heronius_XVI: You have fun expiring then.
The_CEO: "Unfortunately,"
Heronius_XVI: Damn it.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Always a catch."
Poen: "Why don't we just take it all and leave him? He's been a right prick to us."
Poen: "Oh."
Heronius_XVI: Quiet you.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Also he controls the planet it seems, leaving him off probably wouldn't end well for us."
The_CEO: "I cannot give you direct access to the vault."
Heronius_XVI: ...
MiloMagnus: We have to kill things, don't we?
Heronius_XVI: You promised me something that you could not deliever?
The_CEO: "As the defense system is still online preventing me."
Poen: "For having controlled everything, you sure are pretty useless about opening vaults, man."
The_CEO: "The same defense system which keeps me alive."
The_CEO: "You see,"
Igfig: (also, Poen, a lot of the stuff you guys did was of your own accord... messing around with the weather machines, for one.  The stuff you did for him was mostly fixing his systems)
The_CEO: "This machine canot go empty. It will keep whoever is in it alive until a replacement is provided."
The_CEO: "Should you be able to help me get out of my position, you will be able to open the vault, and surely be able to set fourth and challenge the opressors of rock."
Heronius_XVI: "forth"
The_CEO: (whatever)
Poen: "So what do we do?"
Heronius_XVI: So are there any prerequisites for being in the...chair
Poen: "I'm guessing you have to be fat."
Heronius_XVI: We could only hope/
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Kill the defense system."
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "It keeps him alive, it keeps the door closed, kill it, kill him, get goods."
Heronius_XVI: I doubt it is that simple.
The_CEO: "The defense reactor was among the damaged components. Any attempt to remove me will be deflected my the automatic defense system."
Heronius_XVI: Like I said.
The_CEO: "You must shut down the generators."
MiloMagnus: sounds simple
MiloMagnus: where are the generators?
Heronius_XVI: It never is.
MiloMagnus: or
MiloMagnus: this could be more efficient
Poen: "So what, do we just, like, bash them in?"
MiloMagnus: where are you connected to the generators?
The_CEO: "But the machine will see this as a threat to me and attempt to stop you."
Poen: "Don't you have any sort of manual override at all?"
Heronius_XVI sigh
Heronius_XVI: More fighting.
Poen: "The lack of such a thing seems to be a pretty glaring engineering problem."
MiloMagnus: why can't we just find the cables hooking hi to the generator and cut them/
MiloMagnus: ?
The_CEO: (back in a sec guys)
Heronius_XVI: (I am going to see if the brownies are ready)
Heronius_XVI: nom nom nom
MiloMagnus: we're all here
MiloMagnus: oh
The_CEO: "By destroying the generators, you will lower the shield protecting me. This is the first line of denfenses."
MiloMagnus: *brownies*
The_CEO: "I cannot stop it, as the AI has overriden my ability to shut it down since doing so is a direct risk to my already fragile state of being."
The_CEO: "An external force is the only way."
MiloMagnus: CEO?
MiloMagnus: Sir?
The_CEO: "You must destroy these generators!"
The_CEO: "Yes?"
MiloMagnus: instead of heading to the generator room, can you just show us where you are connected to the machine?
MiloMagnus: We could just cut the cables
Heronius_XVI: how does one destroy these generators?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "That'd kill him, but wouldn't do much for opening the vault."
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Probably."
Wilco: What kind of door does the vault have?
Wilco: One of those large fallout type ones?
MiloMagnus: likely inedible
The_CEO: "The cables connecting my to the planets mainframe are protected by the shield those generators... generate."
MiloMagnus: sorry, Wilco
The_CEO: "They are located in this very room. And must be shut down."
MiloMagnus: but the generators can't shield themselves?
Heronius_XVI: they wouldn't be able to shut them off if they did.
MiloMagnus: alright
MiloMagnus: let's go break some generators
The_CEO: "They cannot shield themselves directly, but the defense system on this machine will attempt to stop you."
MiloMagnus: tell us about the defenses
MiloMagnus: what are we dealing with?
Poen: And how do we get around them?
The_CEO: "The very machine that I'm in now."
Heronius_XVI: This seems like a large single enemy.
The_CEO: "Is part of a external independent electronic defense system."
The_CEO: "Everything connected to me will potentially be used against you should you advance on those generators."
The_CEO: "Furthermore,"
Poen: "Oh shit there's more."
The_CEO: "Should any of the dangers you have faced so far escaped you alive, even if damaged,"
Wilco: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK
The_CEO: "They will certainly come to my aid."
Heronius_XVI: (Heronius starts chuckling)
Heronius_XVI: "I have someone I would like you to meet."
Heronius_XVI Whistles
Heronius_XVI: A very large muscualr humanoid comes trotting up.
The_CEO: "This system was carefully designed to deter even the most deadly assault."
Heronius_XVI: Barvo: "Yeah boss?"
The_CEO: "It took many, many hours of trial and error."
Heronius_XVI: "Meet Barvo."
Heronius_XVI: "He is very good at breaking things."
The_CEO: "We lost many minimum wage workers to the plasma tests..."
Heronius_XVI: "He is also very hard to break."
MiloMagnus: wait
Heronius_XVI: "Oh barvo, do I have a treat for you."
MiloMagnus: plasma?
Heronius_XVI: "You get to smash all the stuff in here!"
Poen: Plasma, like for splicing?
The_CEO: "A custom built cannon mounted on this very machine."
Heronius_XVI: Barvo:"Really? Thanks boss."
Heronius_XVI Barvo draws axe.
Heronius_XVI: "I think you two will get along spendidly.
Heronius_XVI: "Adieu!"
Heronius_XVI wanders off.
Barvo: Bur?
Igfig: (What he's been saying is, it's a catch-22.  You have to kill him, but he's protected by the shield generators.  Trying to disable either will start the defense system, which will try to kill you.)
Barvo: (That is why barvo is here, for smashing)
The_CEO: (back in a moment)
Igfig: (Also what I don't think we've quite communicated properly is that the shield generators aren't the main target here.  He, and the defense system he's embedded in, are.  The generators protect him, but mainly against ranged attacks)
Wilco: (I say we kill him)
Thorn_the_Gnoll: (And eat him.)
The_CEO: (Right. My bad.)
MiloMagnus: I think we can get to the generators
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Everybody ready!  Boss is out, job understood, time to do what we do best."
Barvo: (So I can just smash him?)
Barvo cracks knuckles
MiloMagnus: ye[
Barvo spits in palms
Poen: "So, basically, we just smash things, yes?" 
MiloMagnus: I load my explosive arrows
Barvo raises axe.
Barvo rolls init.
Barvo: 1d20+2
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+2: [19] = 21
Wilco: 1d20+8 Wilco
Fortuna: Wilco, Wilco: [4] = 12
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+10
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, 1d20+10: [10] = 20
MiloMagnus: 1d20+6
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20+6: [19] = 25
The_CEO: "I will do my best to warn you of what attacks you will be facing should it come to that."
The_CEO: "Good luck and godspeed."
MiloMagnus: that vault is gonna be filled with candy coins and we're all going to die
MiloMagnus: let's do this
Wilco: hey hey, the last time we heard that we turned out to be a robot
Igfig: "Also, the system will not attack until you make the first move.  I suggest you choose your positions before you start."
The_CEO: "Destroy the defense system surrounding me, and I will be able to aid you further."
Poen: 1d20+4
Fortuna: Poen, 1d20+4: [4] = 8
Barvo: (regions or squares?)
Poen: ... oh Fortuna. Is it because you hate me?
Fortuna: I beg your pardon?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Take a look at the generators before we start!"
MiloMagnus: thank you fortuna!
Fortuna: You're welcome.
Wilco: I hate you fortuna
Fortuna: That's no way to speak to a lady.
Igfig: Just use letters, guys
Wilco: Deal with it
Igfig: not your whole name
Igfig: we're using the grid
Barvo: k
Igfig: Thorn, you're looking at the generators?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I was yelling at someone else to do it.  I don't think Thorn would have the proper knowledge for those things.
Barvo: I don't think any of us do.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Though, actually he might.  Use thievery to check for structural weakpoints or something.
Barvo: We ain't the smart group.
Igfig: Thievery, or just smashery
Igfig: both work
MiloMagnus: nice map
Barvo: Barvo does perception on shield
Barvo: 1d20+2
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+2: [5] = 7
MiloMagnus: I throw own my cloak of disillusionment
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right, I'm going to hop over to one of the generators then before this fight gets going.
MiloMagnus: sounds of many a parents declarations of my failures fill the air
MiloMagnus: I'll hit another generator
Poen: 1d20+6 perception on shield.
Fortuna: Poen, perception on shield.: [13] = 19
MiloMagnus: this thing I'm in front of
MiloMagnus: is this a generator?
Poen: Is that good enough to find out something about the generator?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I think it is.
Igfig: Yeah
Poen: Okay, what do we find out?
MiloMagnus: we destroy it
Igfig: It's a machine. Got moving parts and things.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+11 Thievery to disable or sabotage or whatever this generator.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, Thievery to disable or sabotage or whatever this generator.: [5] = 16
Igfig: You could use Arcana to interfere with it on a high level, Thievery to break the machinery
Igfig: or just smash it
Igfig: or use some other skill if you're clever
Igfig: er, if oyu can think of a clever way to do so
Barvo: So what about the shield itself?
Wilco: can we rock so hard the sound waves ravage the insides?
Igfig: You could try
Wilco: 1d20+8 preform
Fortuna: Wilco, preform: [12] = 20
Wilco: FREEEBIRRRDDDD
Igfig: whoa, whoa, wait guys
Barvo: turn by turn
Igfig: you can do that stuff on your turn
MiloMagnus: it's my turn
Wilco: fine fine
Igfig: The shield is a nearly invisible bubble around the CEO
Igfig: let me finish describing
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Sorry.
Igfig: the CEO, if you recall, is embedded in a thing embedded in the ceiling
Igfig: the bubble isn't too tight, so it'd be possible to get inside it if you could get up close to him
MiloMagnus: is it an electronic machine?
MiloMagnus: and can I see the moving parts?
Igfig: there's a mass of gnashing machinery and cranes below him, which you could use to get up to him if you could avoid getting bonked or crushed
Igfig: is what?  the generator?
MiloMagnus: yes
Igfig: yes and yes
MiloMagnus: I pour my water skin on the electronics
Igfig: Okay, anything else I need to describe here?
Barvo: So are you saying I have to bash the generators?
Igfig: you could, but you could also just climb up and get inside the shields in theory
Igfig: the shields are more a defense against people on the ground with their ranged and area attacks
Igfig: anyway
Barvo: Barvo is no CEO
Igfig:  1d20+2 CEO init
Fortuna: Igfig, CEO init: [5] = 7
MiloMagnus: it would take someone with an impressive acrobatics skill to dodge and duck and leap their way up
Igfig: fairly, yes
Barvo: So would smashing the big center machine accomplish anything?
Igfig: or athletics, or endurance, or a good sense of timing
Igfig: possibly
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Sounds like something to try out after messing with this generator.
Igfig: welp
Barvo: Smashing then.
Igfig: I think that's all I need to say
MiloMagnus: I'll do it
MiloMagnus: anyway
Igfig: so Milo!  You're up!
MiloMagnus: I open my water skin and pour water on the electronics
Poen laughs.
MiloMagnus: Then I look up and see a gear above me I could leap onto
MiloMagnus: 1d20+11 acrobatics
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, acrobatics: [20] = 31
Igfig: Clever idea, but it's hardened so that doesn't short it out by itself
Wilco: WHOA
Poen: Yeah, Milo gets up there, yeah?
Barvo: why are you climbing that?
Igfig: but that'd give you a +2 to a check to disable it
Igfig: and uh
MiloMagnus: I leap onto the gears and moving pipes and carnes above us
Igfig: what are you jumping onto?
Igfig: uh
Poen: Fortuna, you really come through for us when we need ya.
Poen: Thanks, love.
Igfig: you're in the passageway, milo
Wilco: he jumped right through the roof shouting his battle cry
Igfig: there's that round hallway around the outside
MiloMagnus: no I'm buy the generator right?
Igfig: and the main room in the middle, with the CEO
MiloMagnus: yep
MiloMagnus: the walls don't go up all the way
MiloMagnus: I can snake my way through to him
Igfig: normally I'd say hell no
MiloMagnus: besides, I don't want to be jumping where a plasma cannon has me in range
Igfig: but in this case, with a 20, yes you somehow managed to get right up into the interweb
Igfig: You still have your standard action left
Igfig: Pouring out your waterskin was just a minor action, and jumping into the roof was a move
MiloMagnus: I turn around and shoot the generator with an arrow
MiloMagnus: 1d20+13
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20+13: [10] = 23
Igfig: also, you have superior cover up here... ah, ok
Igfig: that's a hit
Igfig: roll damage
Barvo: Basic attacks
Igfig: doesn't have to be
Barvo: okay use your daily
MiloMagnus: CA
Igfig: no sneak attack though, I don't think objects can grant combat advantage
MiloMagnus: sneak attack
MiloMagnus: always
MiloMagnus: oh
Barvo: since it hit
MiloMagnus: okay
MiloMagnus: yeah that's true
Igfig: uh
MiloMagnus: since I lept up there incredibly well I'd call it a sky flourish
MiloMagnus: 1d8+8
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d8+8: [2] = 10
Igfig: you don't get to decide which attack you're using after you roll
Igfig: but that, yeah
Igfig:  10 damage, okay
Barvo: then why did you try to let him?
MiloMagnus: sorry, I'll declare it before next time
Igfig: I meant
Igfig: you can't make an attack roll, see that it hit, and then decide to use a daily
Igfig: I assumed it was an at-will
Igfig: so yeah
Igfig:  10 damage damages it, but it's still in operation
MiloMagnus: and I'm in concealment and have on my cloak
MiloMagnus: heh heh
Igfig: Do that again, and it'll be done for
Igfig: have you made a stealth check to hide?
MiloMagnus: not yet
MiloMagnus: can I
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I think you're out of actions.
MiloMagnus: I think a stealth check is a standard
Igfig: It's part of the move action
MiloMagnus: well then, 1d20+11 stealth
MiloMagnus: 1d20+11 stealth
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, stealth: [11] = 22
Igfig: You are hidden pretty well, yeah
MiloMagnus: nice
MiloMagnus: I'll make sure that happens in order next turn
MiloMagnus: turn over
Igfig: make sure you make your stealth checks before your attacks if you want to get CA
Barvo: So I have to climb the center machine to smash it?
MiloMagnus: Barvo, smash!
MiloMagnus: pour water on it first!
Igfig: to smash the CEO, ys
Barvo: okay
Barvo: 1d20+14
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+14: [17] = 31
Barvo: athletics
Barvo: Barvo leaps up 
Igfig: Nice
Barvo: Grabs a few handholds
Barvo: leaps again
Barvo: Says hi to the Ceo
Barvo: Then Smashes him.
Igfig: A crane swings forward, trying to smash you out of the way
Barvo: With Thunderhooves Rage
Igfig:  1d20+9 vs. AC
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [5] = 14
Igfig: but misses
Barvo: 1d20+9 Vs AC
Fortuna: Barvo, Vs AC: [9] = 18
Igfig: Just hits!
Barvo: 3d12+7
Fortuna: Barvo, 3d12+7: [10, 8, 6] = 31
Barvo: I am now raging
Barvo: Grahhhhhh
Barvo: Action point!
Igfig: daaamn
Barvo: Reckless Rampage!!
Wilco: "Whoa Barvo, calm down man"
Barvo: I run around the machine to the other side.
Barvo: Does it take any OA's?
Igfig: He's basically a computer, he has no basic attack
Barvo: okay
Barvo: 1d20+9 VS AC
Fortuna: Barvo, VS AC: [13] = 22
Barvo: 3d12+8
Fortuna: Barvo, 3d12+8: [4, 11, 7] = 30
Barvo: -1 on that
Igfig:  29 damage?
Barvo: Yeah
Barvo: Done
Igfig: wow
Barvo: Barvo Smash!
Barvo: You do not want to know what will happen if I crit.
Barvo: Thorn!
Igfig: Thorn turn!
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Um.  Boring follow up to that then.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+11 thievery to disable this generator.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, thievery to disable this generator.: [18] = 29
The_CEO: "Well done! Keep doing that!"
Igfig: (that was to Barvo)
Igfig: Right Thorn, you deftly disable that generator with a few fluid movements
Igfig: and about a foot of scrap metal
Igfig: One down, three to go
Igfig: Other actions?
The_CEO: "Only three left! then you can attempt to disable my defenses with ranged assaults!"
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I think I'll try my hand at a few more of those then, guessing it'll make things easier, at least for Milo.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Though wow these things are far away from eachother, either way.
Igfig: yep
Thorn_the_Gnoll: What kind of action was that thievery check?  Minor or standard?
Wilco: if you are trained it's a minor
Barvo: std
Igfig: Standard
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Hmmm...
Igfig: As you pass that hexagon thing, your passive perception
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Sudden Leap then, to jump a bit further to get further and be able to reach this other generator the on my next turn.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 19 is Passive Perception.
Igfig: yeah
Igfig: it's a big hexagonal spike thing sticking out of the wall-floor
Igfig: you notice a fine haze of ozone in the air around it
Igfig: you're pretty sure it's charged with electricity
Igfig: so, standing next to one might not be a good idea
Igfig: you're fine, you went around
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right, keep that in mind everyone, those things are bad.
Igfig: ayup
MiloMagnus: pour water on it!
Wilco: So my turn?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: All yours.
Igfig: Go ahead, Wilco!
Wilco: 1d20+10 Preform on the machine, my soundwaves will ravage the insides of it
Fortuna: Wilco, Preform on the machine, my soundwaves will ravage the insides of it: [15] = 25
Wilco: *keytar solo*
Igfig: Heheheh
Igfig: Okay, you set up a destructive resonance with that bit of the machine
Igfig: and it shakes itself to pieces
Thorn_the_Gnoll: New hand please.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll drew a new hand.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll drew LUCKY FALL (C)
Fortuna: Play when you or any ally takes falling damage.     That character takes half damage from the fall and lands standing.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll drew BEAT FEET (C)
Fortuna: Play at the start of your turn. During this turn, you can take a move action up to your speed+2. You cannot end this movement adjacent to an enemy.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll drew UNFAIR ADVANTAGE (R)
Fortuna: Play when you or an ally knocks an enemy prone. One ally makes a basic attack against the prone enemy as a free action.
Igfig: Two down
Wilco: Can I use beat feet?
Wilco: Even though my turn has already started?
Igfig: The shield is now operating at half strengrh
Igfig: Sure, go ahead
Wilco: Alrighty
Wilco: um
Wilco: how
Barvo: play carname please
Fortuna: You do not have that card in hand.
Wilco: I never bothered to learn the fortune card controls with fortuna
Igfig: play beat feet
Fortuna: Say please.
Wilco: play Beat Feet please
Fortuna: Wilco played BEAT FEET (C)
Fortuna: Play at the start of your turn. During this turn, you can take a move action up to your speed+2. You cannot end this movement adjacent to an enemy.
Fortuna: Wilco drew INNER STRENGTH (C)
Fortuna: Play either when you spend a healing surge or take the total defense action. You make a saving throw.
Igfig: not bad
Wilco: alrighty
Wilco: was the preform my standard?
Igfig: Yeah
Igfig: Also, Wilco
The_CEO: "You are a fantastic rocker, sir! Again!"
Igfig: you just walked past one of the spikes
Wilco: Spikes?
Igfig:  5 lightning damage, and make an Endurance check
Wilco: ow
Igfig: the elecric spikes
Wilco: 1d20+7 endurance 
Fortuna: Wilco, endurance : [17] = 24
The_CEO: "And mind the spikes, boys."
Wilco: Can I channel the electricity into my keytar for a better preformance next turn?
Igfig: The shock has a kick like a horse, but you take it standing
The_CEO: "They help dessipate static current and can give you quite a shock."
Igfig: Hmm, interesting idea
Igfig: Untrained Arcana check, Wilco
Wilco: 1d20+2
Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20+2: [7] = 9
Wilco: balls
Igfig: fraid not, you don't really know how to do that
Wilco: would heroic effort get me high enough?
Igfig: you aren't sure.  Would you like to try it?
Wilco: hmmm
Wilco: 13...
Wilco: that's not too high
Wilco: nope, I'll end the turn
Igfig: Good choice.  Also, the bonus from the electric electric keytar would have only been +2 anyway
Igfig: All right, is Poen back yet?
Wilco: no
Igfig: Anybody want to play Poen this turn, then?  Or just have him delay?
Wilco: I'll play him
Wilco: one sec, let me get his sheet
Wilco: errr
Wilco: actually never mind he can just delay
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Yeah, I was considering it, but I wouldn't have a clue what to do with that character.
The_CEO: (back in a few)
Igfig: okay
Igfig: Well
Igfig: First, the integrated defenses
Igfig: Blades sweep out of the floor under Poen's feet
Igfig:  1d20+8 vs. Reflex; 1d8+4 damage
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. Reflex: [19] = 27; damage: [1] = 5
Igfig: Then, Wilco is sprayed by a shower of acid
Igfig: er, wait
Igfig: make that THorn
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Bother.
Wilco: AAGGH OH GOD THE PA-- oh
Igfig:  1d20+8 vs. Fort
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. Fort: [3] = 11
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Miss.
Thorn_the_Gnoll shakes it off, literally.
Igfig: Then, he fires the blaster at Barvo
The_CEO: "I'm so sorry! I forgot to tell you about those! Please watch your step!"
Igfig:  1d20+7 vs. Ref
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. Ref: [10] = 17
Igfig:  2d6+5 radiant damage
Fortuna: Igfig, radiant damage: [3, 2] = 10
Igfig: and finally, action point to Jury-Rig Servitors
The_CEO: "Oh my. You failed to kill the sevitors, didn't you?"
Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Only one...  maybe two."
The_CEO: "Well, I hope you don't mind trying again."
Igfig: These are the ones that you already mostly destroyed... not the fully intact ones.
Igfig: broken servitors, still slowly knitting themselves back together, haul themselves out of the walls
The_CEO: "Sorry about the gun big guy..."
Wilco: Oh god
MiloMagnus: it's a good thing I'm up here!
Igfig:  1d20+5 init
Fortuna: Igfig, init: [15] = 20
Igfig: And that's his turn
Barvo: I am fine
Igfig: Milo turn!
MiloMagnus: I knot the strings tighter and pull back the bow as hard as I can
MiloMagnus: and aim a powerful impact shot at the generator
MiloMagnus: 1d20+13
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20+13: [18] = 31
Igfig: Hit!
MiloMagnus: 2d8+4
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 2d8+4: [2, 5] = 11
MiloMagnus: YES
Igfig: BAM
Igfig: Three down
MiloMagnus: Haha
Igfig: Anything else?
Wilco: where is the last one
MiloMagnus: I crawl towards the CEO
MiloMagnus: 1d20+11
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20+11: [15] = 26
Igfig: northwest, behind the servitors
Wilco: Okay
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Yeah, I'm not so sure I'll be getting through those guys very well.
Wilco: I'll see if my rock can echo off the corridors and destroy them
MiloMagnus: how far can I move?
Igfig: Move your full 6
MiloMagnus: kay
Igfig: These servitors are not at full strength
Igfig: thorn
MiloMagnus: turn end
Barvo: Barvo
Igfig: Barvo!
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Still a bit questionable.
Barvo: Smash.
Igfig: yeo
Barvo: Move
Barvo: Avalanche Strike!
Barvo: 1d20+9
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+9: [18] = 27
Barvo: 4d12+10
Fortuna: Barvo, 4d12+10: [10, 1, 12, 1] = 34
Barvo: +4 to attack rolls against me.
Barvo: From him.
Igfig: How are you moving?  Clinging onto the frame?  Standing on the machinery stack?
Barvo: I can move through the enemey spaces
Barvo: so through sort of?
Igfig: I guess you're hanging off of him with one hand, smashing with the other
Igfig: but make an athletics check to move all the same
Barvo: 1d20+14
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+14: [14] = 28
Igfig: yeah, no problem
Barvo: okay
Barvo: 34 damage
Igfig: Also, the cranes again!
Igfig:  1d20+9 vs. AC
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [4] = 13
Igfig: misses again
Barvo: miss
Barvo: Minor action
Igfig: and you smash him hard
Barvo: Stone's Endurance
Igfig: and he is now bloodied
Barvo: Resist 5 all
The_CEO: "Mind the cranes! I'm so sorry about all this!"
Barvo: Done.
Wilco: "Why can't you help us?!"
The_CEO: "I'm trying! the AI has overriden my control for my own protection!"
Igfig: Thorn turn
The_CEO: "In retrospect, this was a seriously flawed design!"
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right, so, servitors in the way.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I'd like to roll an acrobatics check to run along the wall/leap over the servitors to get at the generator.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+11 Acrobatics.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, Acrobatics.: [18] = 29
Igfig: There are a bunch of them, so it'll be ha--oh
Igfig: You run along the walls, leap over the servitors, and get at the generator
Igfig: Just like that
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Ninja gnoll.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+11 Thievery Check to disable this generator now.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, Thievery Check to disable this generator now.: [9] = 20
Igfig: Ooh, not quite
Wilco: can I use my standard to assist?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: You're a bit of a ways off.
Igfig: Evidently you can't disable machines while performing a knee slide
Igfig: and yeah, sorry Wilco
Wilco: Play an inspiring tune?
Fortuna: Say please.
Wilco: Fortuna isn't letting me go to band practice
Wilco: YOU'RE NOT MY MOM
Igfig: you can't even see Thorn
Wilco: Oh yeah
Wilco: never mind then
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right, looking at my options...
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I was planning to use it for the getaway after disabling it, but eh.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Action Point
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+11 Thievery Check Again.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, Thievery Check Again.: [17] = 28
Igfig: Now that you aren't upside down and in motion, you take it apart quite handily
The_CEO: "Almost! You're doing so well!"
Thorn_the_Gnoll: And that's all the generators then.
The_CEO: "If you hurry, maybe only a few of you will be brutally murdered by various death machines!"
Igfig: All four generators are disabled!  Ranged attacks are now full strength!
Poen: WOOHOO
Wilco: I HAVE NO RANGED ATTACKS
Wilco: SHIT
Igfig: against the CEO I mean
Wilco: Can I throw rocks?
Igfig: sure
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Or you could just smack him.
Wilco: Awesome
Igfig: or just, you know, climb
Poen: I don't think I have ranged attacks, do I?
Wilco: Wilco is a 350 pound human
Igfig: I don't think so, you're a warpriest
Wilco: he won't be very good at climbing
The_CEO: There is a fair amount of debris 
Wilco: but I'll try
Igfig: I was sort of banking in having more players here... on average, a lot of us are ranged
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Maybe just being on top of it will damage the machine for Wilco.
Igfig: shrug
The_CEO: Fuckin' Drey
The_CEO: Letting us down
Wilco: He came into squad chat for a second
Igfig: Among others
Wilco: I tried telling him to come in, then he just vanished
Igfig: So anyway ,Thorn, you done?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Yup.
Igfig: All right
Wilco: what fortune cards do we have?
Wilco: show hand
Wilco: hmm
Thorn_the_Gnoll: You have to /msg Fortuna hand
Wilco: what's the command?
Igfig: have to message fortuna with that command
Wilco: oh
Igfig: anyway
Igfig: the crippled servitors swarm toward you, Thorn
Wilco: alrighty
Wilco: Okay so can I climb these walls here?
Wilco: Where exactly is CEO on the map?
Igfig: not your turn
Wilco: right in the middle?
Igfig: yes
Wilco: I'm after thorn
Thorn_the_Gnoll: The middle, also servitor time.
Wilco: oh 
Thorn_the_Gnoll: They're before you.
Wilco: I didn't notice
Wilco: carry on
Igfig: and one at full strength, the one that escaped earlier you think, appears out of the wall behind Wilco
Igfig: actually
Igfig: no
Igfig: even better
Igfig: crawls across the web toward Milo
Wilco: good, because wilco was about to fart
Wilco: it would have been blown away
Igfig: who didn't make any Stealth checks last turn
Igfig: and isn't hidden
Barvo: har
Igfig: The servitor up in the cables launches its Web of Wire at Milo
Igfig:  1d20+7 vs Ref
Fortuna: Igfig, vs Ref: [11] = 18
Igfig:  1d6+5 damage
Fortuna: Igfig, damage: [3] = 8
MiloMagnus: rrhold on
MiloMagnus: did you subtract 5 fro mtaht attack already?
The_CEO: "YOU THERE! MIND THE- Oh shit..."
Igfig: and you're pulled 2 squares and immobilized until end of next turn
MiloMagnus: wait
MiloMagnus: never mind
Wilco: you just got raped
MiloMagnus: shit
Igfig: As for Thorn
Igfig: They just all come in for the bites
MiloMagnus: I have to make a stealth check every turn
MiloMagnus: dammit
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Hey Milo he missed you.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I think, your reflex is 20.
The_CEO: "I'm so sorry about all this. You seem like decent folk. You really do!"
Igfig: Oh really?
Igfig: I assumed 18 was a hit, but that's a better Ref than I thought
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Just checked, cause I figured his should be around mine and that would have missed me.
Igfig: Two servitors have CA on Thorn
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Oh joy.
Igfig:  2#1d20+9; 2#1d20+9+2
Igfig: hmm
Igfig:  2#1d20+9;
Igfig:  2#1d20+9
Fortuna: Igfig, 1d20+9: [1] = 10; 1d20+9: [7] = 16
Igfig: oh, she's just being slow
Igfig:  2#1d20+9+2
Fortuna: Igfig, 1d20+9+2: [6] = 17; 1d20+9+2: [7] = 18
Thorn_the_Gnoll: So vs. AC?
Igfig: vs AC, all of them
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Misses, all of them.
Igfig: wow
Igfig: that's all, then
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Yar.  Thorn's on a roll it seems.
Igfig: Wilco!
Wilco: huzzawha
Wilco: oh
Wilco: how far do I need to be from that spike to avoid the damage?
Igfig: I guess Fortuna is mad at me... maybe she didn't like that latest function I added
Igfig: Just not adjacent
Wilco: Okay
MiloMagnus: maybe fortuna loves us more
Fortuna giggles.
Wilco: I'll do a running start jump then
Igfig: Hey!
Wilco: what's the bonus to acrobatics from the running start?
Jonas: (Guys....I'm crying like a Little girl....)
Igfig: Athletics, and it just lets you jump twice as far as a standing jump
Wilco: okay
Jonas: (The reason why is on the pwot pony squad wall)
Wilco: THEN WHY NOT SAY THAT IN THE CHAT AND NOT HERE THANK YOU
Wilco: anyways
Wilco: 1d20+10 to fly like an eagle
Fortuna: Wilco, to fly like an eagle: [13] = 23
Igfig: Thanks, Wilco
Igfig: and yeah, that makes it
Wilco: awesome
Wilco: can I still attack?
Wilco: or was that my standard
Igfig: That was  move
Wilco: okay
Igfig: Wait, why were you jumping in the first place?
Igfig: ah
Igfig: ok
Jonas: (No one is in the caht waffle..Im all alone)
Igfig: you hadn't moved your icon yet
Jonas: (Chat)
Igfig: Jonas, talk in OOC or chat
Igfig: not here in IC
Wilco: Jonas there are 3 people there
Wilco: anyways
Wilco: I'll use holy smite with valiant strike
Wilco: 1d20+10 vs ac
Fortuna: Wilco, vs ac: [12] = 22
Igfig: RIghto
Igfig: THat's a hit!
Wilco: 1d8+5+7
Fortuna: Wilco, 1d8+5+7: [3] = 15
Wilco: 15 damage
Igfig: Lovely
Igfig: And a daze, right?
Wilco: is there anywhere I can take cover up here?
Wilco: and yeah, dazed
The_CEO: "Fantastic! Do that... Whatever you just did. Do it again!"
Barvo: 109 isn't it?
Wilco: No wait, who needs cover?
Igfig: Yes, you're right.  My addition was off
Wilco: I turn to the robots climbing around and furiously crotch thrust at them, my fat jiggling awkwardly from the motion
Wilco: end turn
Igfig: Poen?
Igfig: Still gone?
Barvo: was here then left again
Thorn_the_Gnoll: She had to leave again for a different reason now.
Igfig: ah, I see
Igfig: Delaying again?
Barvo: yup
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Wait.
Poen: NO
Barvo: wait
Poen: WAIT
Poen: I AM SO HERE
Igfig: Poen!
Barvo: oh my
The_CEO: We'll just say Poen is easily distracted with....
The_CEO: Things?
Poen: Hey. Food and mother are important matters.
Poen: Anyway, is anyone hurt?
Igfig: Matters, then.
Igfig: I think you're mostly fine
Igfig: you're the most damaged of everyone, in fact
Poen: Ow.
Igfig: you took 8 damage I think
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 5.
Igfig: you probably remember it better than I do
Igfig:  5 it is
Barvo: I took 10
Igfig: oh
Barvo: I'm at 45 now
Igfig: well then my bane
Igfig: bad
Poen: Are the red regions? Or are we going by squares?
Igfig: Squares
Igfig: The red things are just lines on the floor
Poen: I'll move next to Barvo and heal 'im.
Barvo: yeah "just"
Igfig: seem to be embedded power conduits of some sort, maybe
Igfig: kay
Igfig: Standard action?
Barvo: I don't really need healing
Poen: Am I in a position to attack the CEO there, or do I have to like climb or whatever?
Barvo: but buffs are nice
Igfig: You'd have to climb, or ride a crane or something
Poen: Um ... okay, one moment.
Poen: Can I use Earthen Hail just as a buff, without the attack aspect, since the CEO is out of reach?
Igfig: Sure
Poen: All right.
Poen: 1d20+7
Fortuna: Poen, 1d20+7: [15] = 22
The_CEO: "You're doing well! I'm getting all sorts of beeping noises and red flashing lights I didn't know were part of this machine!"
Igfig: Don't even need to roll to hit, since you're using just the effect
Igfig: but if you give it a good description, I'll let you use the secondary hit effect, the close blast
Igfig: no?
Poen: ??
Poen: A little confused.
Poen: Description?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Roleplaying stuff.
Igfig: I sometimes give out a style bonus to a roll if somebody describes the attack particularly well
Poen: Oh.
Poen: Uh.
Igfig: In this case, I'll let you use the "Con damage in close blast 3" thing if you describe well
Igfig: since that would be able to reach the CEO, even if your mace wouldn't
Igfig: er, hammer
The_CEO: Like,
The_CEO: OK I'm not sure what you're using so nevermind
Poen: Enormous clots of earth materialised and rocketed downwards, slamming into the ground. The impact shook the floor, and the contraption from which the CEO hung swayed ever so slightly. As pellets of dirt continued to hail down, the sheer force richocheted a particle straight up.
The_CEO: Not bad
Poen: It bounced, and everything seemed to go into slow motion as it sailed through the air, twisting and spiraling before it plonked straight into the CEO's right eye.
Igfig: Word.
Wilco: you hit him with a rock
Poen: A pebble to the eye, gentlemen, is an aggravating thing indeed.
Igfig: Aright, 4 damage to the CEO
Poen: Yes.
Poen does a little jig.
Igfig: It's now the CEO's turn
Wilco: Yell obscenities at us
Igfig: He's dazed, but a special trait of his lets him take an extra action while he's dazed
Igfig: so first he fires his blaster at all three of you below him
Igfig:  3#1d20+7 vs. Reflex on: Barvo, WIlco, Poen
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. Reflex on Barvo: [20] = 27; vs. Reflex on WIlco: [17] = 24; vs. Reflex on Poen: [13] = 20
Barvo: Crits me
Igfig: Ouch, Barvo
Wilco: hit
Igfig:  17 on Barvo
Barvo: (you can heal me now)
Barvo: barvo takes 12
Igfig:  2d6+5 on the others
Fortuna: Igfig, on the others: [5, 5] = 15
Wilco: I'll heal you
Wilco: ouch
Igfig: And then, another cloud of acid
Igfig:  3#1d20+8 vs. Fort on: Barvo, Wilco, Poen
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. Fort on Barvo: [1] = 9; vs. Fort on Wilco: [3] = 11; vs. Fort on Poen: [6] = 14
Wilco: misses us all
Barvo: crit miss on me
Wilco: hahah
Igfig: heh
Barvo: I hope this is auspicious
Barvo: I want to get a critical hit
The_CEO: "Just kinda... Watch... I'm... Careful..." (he's dazed)
Igfig: And end turn.
Igfig: Milo!
MiloMagnus: milo here!
MiloMagnus: I crawl a little closer, lunging over some piping
MiloMagnus: 1d20+11
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20+11: [7] = 18
MiloMagnus: stealth check
MiloMagnus: 1d20+11
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20+11: [7] = 18
Wilco: you forgot to roll stealth
Wilco: oh
Wilco: uh
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Wait.
Igfig: haha
MiloMagnus: the other was an acrobatics check
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Hadn't he rolled a stealth check and gotten a 22 waaaaaaaaaaay back?
Igfig: that was good enough
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Before he was attacked by the servitor actually.
Igfig: yeah, and then he attacked immediately afterwards
Igfig: attacking causes you to break stealth
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Oh right, don't mind me then.
MiloMagnus: sneak attack on the CEO, I realize I'm using my joke arrow by mistake. Oh well. Sneak attack Trick shot
MiloMagnus: 1d20+13
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20+13: [5] = 18
MiloMagnus: DAMN
Igfig: Hit!
MiloMagnus: oh
Wilco: HAW
MiloMagnus: oh nevermind
MiloMagnus: 3d8+2d6+4
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 3d8+2d6+4: [1, 6, 4, 3, 3] = 21
Igfig: Also, he was actually already granting CA because he was dazed
MiloMagnus: I know
MiloMagnus: the stealth check is cause of the other things
Igfig: well, you attacked, so you lost stealth again
MiloMagnus: hush
Igfig: unless you wanted to make the check after the attack
Igfig: but in any case
MiloMagnus: no it is what it is
MiloMagnus: 21 damage to the CEO
Igfig: Your arrow severs an important cable!
Wilco: woop!
Igfig: er, bolt does!
Poen cheers!
Igfig: The CEO's entire superstructure jolts down a good metre!
Barvo: An important cable has been severed, the muscle is badly bruised!
Igfig: The CEO is having trouble breathing!
Igfig: Oh wait, no
Igfig: he's just doing... something...
Igfig: uh...
The_CEO: "I don't know what that controled, but I've got a bad feeling about it... GOOD! Keep it up!"
Igfig: more cranes and legs unfold from the ceiling
Igfig: legs with massive blades on the end
Wilco: "Finally I can die!"
Poen: ah crap it's going to Turn Red.
The_CEO: "I'm so sorry about all this trying to kill you. But keep at it!"
MiloMagnus: do I need to check to make sure I'm not under them?
Igfig: the entire CEO structure
Igfig: detaches from the ceiling
Barvo: I am still riding it?
The_CEO: "I.... OK I was never told it can do this...."
Wilco: I'm still standing on it
Igfig: an eight-legged, hulking mechanical monstrosity
The_CEO: "I suggest running now."
Wilco: Can I make a reflex check to jump off?
Igfig: Nope, but it's making an attack against all of you
The_CEO: "Yes, that seems logical. Run far away."
Wilco: "Well shit"
Igfig: all of you on or under it
Barvo: Can I make an endurance check to stay on?
Igfig: hmm
Barvo: I will ride this thing to the ground!
Igfig: let's see how much damage it deals, then
MiloMagnus: oh crap
Poen: It is going to squish me, isn't it.
Wilco: I could reach down and grab Barvo's hand, you know help keep him up
Igfig:  3#1d20+9 vs. AC on: Barvo, Wilco, Poen
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC on Barvo: [13] = 22; vs. AC on Wilco: [3] = 12; vs. AC on Poen: [2] = 11
Barvo: I do not want to hold hands with you
Wilco: miss
Poen: HA
Wilco: My sweaty chocolate covered hands
MiloMagnus: love you fortuna!
Fortuna giggles.
Barvo: hit
Igfig:  2d8+6 damage, and the target is knocked prone
Fortuna: Igfig, damage, and the target is knocked prone: [4, 6] = 16
Wilco: Fortuna I am going to fucking hug you
Fortuna: Don't be a bad sport.
Barvo: 11 damage
Wilco: OY
Barvo: bloodied
Wilco: Fortuna is so used to me making fun of her that she defaults to hate
Fortuna: I won't dignify that with a response.
Wilco: GOD DAMMIT
Igfig: The CEO has taken the form of the Robot Spider CEO!
Igfig: Sure, Barvo, make that Endurance check to stay hanging on
MiloMagnus: this is like that movie!
Barvo: 1d20+9
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+9: [14] = 23
Igfig: The rest of you didn't specify, so you're on the ground, unhurt
Igfig: You hang on, Barvo
Barvo: Damn right
Wilco: whoa whoa
Wilco: I was on top
Barvo: Now it's my turn motherfucker.
Wilco: can I roll endurance then?
Igfig: Wilco, you jumped at it
Igfig: You couldn't get on top, you couldn't even stay up there for more than the attack
Wilco: Oh okay then
Barvo: Alright.
Barvo: Stand up
Igfig: it is now barvo's turn motherfucker.
Barvo: Pressing Strike
Igfig: yes
Barvo: I shift before the attack
Igfig: okay
Barvo: Now I am on the very top
Barvo: 1d20+9
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+9: [17] = 26
Barvo: 2d12+1d6+7
Fortuna: Barvo, 2d12+1d6+7: [3, 4, 1] = 15
Igfig: woo
Barvo: low.
Barvo: Alright
Barvo: done
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Joy, my turn.
Igfig: aright
Wilco: Gnollin' it up
Igfig: okay, the CEO is placed
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Either try to fight servitors on my own, or try and join up with the rest to kill the giant one, with the servitors likely following me.
Wilco: try stepping on one and vaulting off of it
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Which would mean a whole lot of bad probably.
Barvo: Acrobatics!
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Nah I don't need to do any fancy tricks to get out from in here, unless I was going to pull what Milo did.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Well, techinically Escape Artist Trick is a Trick, but still.
The_CEO: "Oh. And mind these legs. It's just a guess, but the weight of this machine would probably crush you like a bug. So try not to get stepped on."
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I think that statement solidifies one of my ideas then, coming to join you guys.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Escape Artist Trick to shift 2 squares out from in the middle here.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Standard to move some more.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: And then an extra 2 squares shifting at the end of my turn, as a minor action I get my Rope of Beast Binding ready.
Igfig: oh boy
Igfig: Servitors!
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Hopefully my idea works, cause if it does it'll be really fun.
Barvo: Thorn has the rope again!
Barvo: Toss it to me, we will double rope this shit.
Igfig: The servitor in the rafters comes for Milo again!
Igfig: charging with pointy legs
Igfig:  1d20+9 vs. AC; 1d10+6 damage
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [4] = 13; damage: [3] = 9
Igfig: and misses
Igfig: The other servitors follow Thorn
Igfig: two bite at his heels
Igfig:  2#1d20+9 vs. AC
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [3] = 12; vs. AC: [4] = 13
Igfig: both missing
Igfig: and... that's it
Igfig: Wilco!
Wilco: HIYA
Wilco: What do I roll to climb the robot?
Wilco: Athletics?
Wilco: yeah I think
Barvo: yu
Barvo: p
Wilco: 1d20+9 to climb the robot
Fortuna: Wilco, to climb the robot: [11] = 20
Igfig: Nope
Wilco: dammit
Wilco: I'll add heroic effort to that fucker
Wilco: 24
Igfig: Okay, you successfully shimmy up a flailing crane-leg onto the spiderbot's back with Barvo
Wilco: 1d20+9 vs ac 
Fortuna: Wilco, vs ac : [16] = 25
Barvo: I can just imagine wilco straining with all of his might
Wilco: 1d8+4 damage
Fortuna: Wilco, damage: [6] = 10
Barvo: trying to drag his flab up the leg
Wilco: and of course
Igfig: Okay
Wilco: Restore Vitality on Barvo
Wilco: you regain 15 hp barvo
Barvo: ok
Wilco: end turn
Barvo: no longer bloodied
Igfig: All right, Poen then!
Poen: Barvo is pretty banged up, yes?
Barvo: 37 of 55
Barvo: a surge would do me up nice
Poen: Healing word on Barvo
The_CEO: "Will you be OK? Please don't die!"
Poen: 1d6 additional HP
Fortuna: Poen, additional HP: [2] = 2
handofevil joined #pwot_dnd.
Wilco: FINALLY
Barvo: alright, I am down only 2 points now
handofevil: I have explained everything to Ig. That is all I will say
Wilco: to me?
Wilco: or everyone
Poen: And is SCEO on the ground now?
Igfig: He had to work late, and yup
dreyrugr: ACtually
dreyrugr: Can I bring holdr in instead
Igfig: no
Poen: 1d20+7 Nimbus of Holy Shielding
Fortuna: Poen, Nimbus of Holy Shielding: [2] = 9
black_dynamite: Alright
Poen: Ahhhgk, you're kidding, Fortuna!
The_CEO: This is plot specific, HoE
Jonas quit.
Poen: I'm guessing that's not a hit, Ig?
Igfig: Didn't you already use that power in the fight against the servitors, earlier?
Poen: Me?
Igfig: and yes, it's pretty obviously not a hit
Poen: No. I've only used Earthen Hail
Poen: I delayed when the servitors were fighting me, I guess
Poen: All right, I'll move back a square and call it a turn.
black_dynamite: 1d20+7
Fortuna: black_dynamite, 1d20+7: [14] = 21
Igfig: move?
Igfig: If you move, that's an OA
Igfig:  1d20+9 vs. AC
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [5] = 14
Igfig: but it misses
Poen: Oh, I guess it doesn't matter now but I can't seem to move the P on the map.
Igfig: Scriblar is annoying with text
Poen: Nevermind, got it. And yeah, a little annoying
Poen: Next person!
Igfig: Milo!
Igfig: And BD, where are you entering the battle?
Wilco: Milo is just...
Wilco: gone
black_dynamite: Good question
Wilco: we don't know what happened
black_dynamite: He's flogging himself
Igfig: oh no he's dead
Wilco: alphakennybuddy linked him some mysterious photo in private FB chat
The_CEO: Should we pause and explain the situation to BD?
Wilco: then he never replied or showed any sign of life
Wilco: sure
black_dynamite: Let's enter here
The_CEO: We're not what I would call behind schedule.
Igfig: Was that the image of Alpha's true identity?
Wilco: No
black_dynamite: It was a pony picture
Wilco: that had us laughing for hours though
black_dynamite: And eric... well eric is something else
Wilco: *cough* something
Igfig: And sure, but maybe let's do it in OOC so as not to break the rhythm even more, Slim
Igfig: actually, whatever
Igfig: You guys want to try explaining it?
Wilco: uhh
Wilco: robots
Wilco: and
Wilco: vault
Wilco: treasure
Wilco: kill this dude and break the shield
Wilco: how is that
black_dynamite: So basically Treasure Planet?
Igfig: the shield already is broken
Wilco: yes
Igfig: and no, not at all
black_dynamite: Awesome. Where's my laser board
Igfig: well, I've never seen that movie
Wilco: I like to believe
Igfig: but it's treasure island in space, I hear
Wilco: as long as we don't escape from the exploding planet at the last-- fuck it that would be rad
Igfig: and this is not that
Barvo: Hit the big thing
Wilco: Delf, when can I fight bahamut?
Barvo: Until it stops moving
black_dynamite: It's treaasure island in space with giant robots, a hollow planet full of gold and explosion
black_dynamite: ANYWAY
black_dynamite: LET'S HIT THE BIG THING
Igfig: okay, then what's happening is you're fighting this guy who is a giant robot spider cyborg CEO
black_dynamite: So it's Mom gone robot?
black_dynamite: Awesome
black_dynamite: I can't move and hit her from where I am can I?
Igfig: Him, and no
Barvo: move chrage
Igfig: but there are a ton of little spider servitors in front of you, chasing Thorn
black_dynamite: That would work
black_dynamite: Right/
Barvo: I would love it if you killed it right now
Wilco: Punch the robot
Igfig: I suppose, but monks aren't known for their charging ability
black_dynamite: Would a move charge work?
Barvo: Just BD flying in out of nowhere and blowing it apart
Wilco: milo delays
Wilco: ?
Igfig: and this form isn't even bloodoed
Igfig: ied
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Doesn't he have a flying movement/attack?
Barvo: Milo gets tangled in some wires
black_dynamite: I do
Igfig: Yeah, I guess he delays
black_dynamite: My basic is pretty strong
black_dynamite: I'll just charge it
Wilco: use that leaf thing
Igfig: whatever you like
black_dynamite: Move and charge
Wilco: murder it
black_dynamite: Hold on, it's been a while, I need to look up my roll
black_dynamite: 1d20+13
Fortuna: black_dynamite, 1d20+13: [6] = 19
black_dynamite: Shoot
black_dynamite: That's not a hit is it
Igfig: actually it id
Igfig: s
black_dynamite: 1d10+3
Fortuna: black_dynamite, 1d10+3: [8] = 11
black_dynamite: Woo
Igfig: yay
black_dynamite: +6 damage
black_dynamite: From stonefist
Igfig: Also, you provoke OAs from four servitors as you charge past them
The_CEO: "Good job! Keep doing that, crazy looking punching man!"
black_dynamite: Oh shoot
Igfig:  4#1d20+9 vs. AC
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [9] = 18; vs. AC: [19] = 28; vs. AC: [16] = 25; vs. AC: [17] = 26
Barvo: 4 hits
Igfig:  6 damage from each
black_dynamite: Welp. There goes my health
Barvo: That is so badass I just grew a beard on my beard.
black_dynamite: Bloodied
black_dynamite: Black dynamite charged in out of nowhere and punched stuff
Igfig: Aaand... Barvo!
Barvo: Rahhh
Barvo: would I have to make an Athletcs check to move on this thing?
Barvo: who cares! do it anyway
Barvo: I run a lap on it roaring!
Barvo: Devastating Strike!
Igfig: Let's say you're okay because you're on top
Barvo: 1d20+9
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+9: [16] = 25
Barvo: 2d12+1d8+7
Fortuna: Barvo, 2d12+1d8+7: [10, 1, 2] = 20
Igfig: when it moves, though, you'll need Endurance to stay on
Igfig: funky
Barvo: done
Igfig: and huh, it's bloodied now
Igfig: Thorn!
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Um.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Tactical Trick moving away I get smacked by an Opportunity Attack.
Igfig: okay
Igfig:  2#1d20+9 vs. AC
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [17] = 26; vs. AC: [5] = 14
Thorn_the_Gnoll: One hit.
Igfig:  6 damage
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+11 to hop up on top of the CEO with Barvo.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, to hop up on top of the CEO with Barvo.: [16] = 27
Igfig: hahaha
Barvo highfive
Igfig: man, we just always gotta be riding every boss we find
Thorn_the_Gnoll: We Gnolls make natural beastmasters.
Igfig: next time you guys are fighting a size Tiny solo
Wilco: Well they're always huge and we need to jump onto them
black_dynamite: PUt spikes on the back of the next one
black_dynamite: That would make it even more hilarious
Igfig: also tempting
black_dynamite: The tiny part that is
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Spikes would make it easier to hold on to, if they're large enough.
black_dynamite: Gentlemen, we are all going to hop on the back of a tiny solo
Igfig: Giant pufferfish?  Sea urchin?
Wilco: zebra
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right, so time to garrote this rather large fellow, with a backstab and all that.
Igfig: roight
black_dynamite: Kitten
Wilco: yes
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+15 vs. AC
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, vs. AC: [11] = 26
Wilco: No wait I ate the kittens
Igfig: hit
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d4+5
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, 1d4+5: [1] = 6
Wilco: haw
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I'm gonna use my luck glove things to reroll that.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Plus I forgot the backstab and sneakattack stuff anyways.
Wilco: what about the backstab damage?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: So actually I'll roll those first.
Wilco: argh
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 3d6
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, 3d6: [3, 6, 1] = 10
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I'll reroll that 1.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d6
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, 1d6: [1] = 1
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Fine then.
Wilco: haha
Igfig: mnurh
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 16 damage, grabbed and all that.
Igfig: hurrah
Thorn_the_Gnoll: And now for Thorn's Rope of Beast Binding's Daily Power
Wilco: Go thorn!
Wilco: You rock! Woohoo!
Thorn_the_Gnoll: He takes a -5 penalty to escape this grab, and I can slide him 2 squares as a minor action now.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: But I'm all out of actions so that'll have to wait.
Igfig: I don't even remember what this does--oh, crap
Igfig: uhh
Igfig: you're still riding him, though, so he can still move, right?
Igfig: You just get pulled along with him
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Yeah I'm on top of him.
Igfig: right
Igfig: Well, the servitors are going now
Igfig: Servitor in the web bites Milo
Barvo: brb
Wilco: milo is still dead
Igfig:  1d20+9 vs. AC; 2d8+6 lightning damage
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [19] = 28; lightning damage: [6, 3] = 15
Igfig: maybe
black_dynamite: Milo dyes.
black_dynamite: And then he dies
Wilco: dyes?
Wilco: what colour
black_dynamite: In his newly dyed suit
Igfig: the crippled servitors come for BD... only BD and Poen aren't on the spider, right?
The_CEO: "Are you OK? Those servitor bites hurt! You're not dead are you? Oh... Yes... Yes you are. SO SORRY!"
black_dynamite: Oh ahoot
Wilco: This CEO kind of reminds me of Barty Crouch
black_dynamite: You mean david Tennant?
Igfig: sorta
Wilco: no tennant is the son
black_dynamite: Oh right
Wilco: I mean the adult crouch
Igfig: Wait, really?  Whoa
Wilco: yeah
Wilco: we learned that a week ago
Wilco: it was rad
Igfig:  2#1d20+9 vs. Poen
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. Poen: [6] = 15; vs. Poen: [17] = 26
Igfig:  2#1d20+9+2 vs. BD
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. BD: [2] = 13; vs. BD: [2] = 13
Igfig: all AC
black_dynamite: AHAHAHAHA
Igfig: guess that's one hit on Poen, 6 damage
Wilco: the horror!
black_dynamite: Little babby spiders do no damage to strongman bruno
Igfig: these servitors are useless
Igfig: Go Wilco!
Wilco: 1d20+9 athletics to fully climb the spider and stand on top
Fortuna: Wilco, athletics to fully climb the spider and stand on top: [19] = 28
Wilco: woop!
Igfig: You were already on, but okay
Wilco: I thought I was holding onto the side with barvo
black_dynamite: He climbed ontop of thorn then
Wilco: 1d20+10 Valiant Strike with Holy Smite vs AC
Fortuna: Wilco, Valiant Strike with Holy Smite vs AC: [13] = 23
Igfig: success
Wilco: 1d8+4+7 damage
Fortuna: Wilco, damage: [2] = 13
Wilco: oh shit
Wilco: I'll activate my defender aura
Igfig: good idea
Igfig: and I think that's it, then
Wilco: oh yeah, and I'll add my firestorm boon to that attack 
Wilco: that last attack I mean
Igfig: okay
Wilco: 1d6
Fortuna: Wilco, 1d6: [1] = 1
Wilco: FUCK YOU FORTUNA
Fortuna: Do you blow your mother with that mouth?
Wilco: whoa
Wilco: Oh well
Wilco: end turn
black_dynamite: Yes he does
Wilco: *shudder*
black_dynamite: His mother became a transvestite after he was born
Wilco: I was so manly I left another penis behind when I was born
Igfig: Man, I always know when those are coing
Igfig: but it's just so satisfying to see happen
Wilco: Maybe I can bribe fortuna with dicebot, get her a boyfriend
Wilco was kicked by Fortuna (That's quite enough.                          Come back when you know how to treat a lady.)
Igfig: Poen turn!
The_CEO: Fortuna is pretty fucking boss
Fortuna: Mm-hmm.
Wilco quit.
Wilco joined #pwot_dnd.
Wilco: GDKSGFSKJGFSD;G
Wilco: MOVING ON
Wilco: WHO IS NEXT
Wilco: POEN
Poen: 1d20+2 Athletics to get onto the spider
Fortuna: Poen, Athletics to get onto the spider: [17] = 19
Igfig: You do not accuse Fortuna of accepting bribes
Fortuna: Igfig, did you hear what he just called me?
Igfig: oops
Igfig: yes, yes I did
black_dynamite: No you didn't
Wilco: And it was PERFECTLY ACCURATE
black_dynamite: You're deaf
black_dynamite: REmember
Igfig: Can you believe the nerve of some people
Poen: Ig, is that a successfull SCEO-climb, or no?
Igfig: don't worry, Fortuna, the rest of us still love you
Fortuna blushes.
Igfig: yeah, you're good
Wilco: Don't believe him Fortuna, he is a filthy liar
Diceboy joined #pwot_dnd.
Diceboy quit.
Poen: 1d20+7 Earth's Endurance
Fortuna: Poen, Earth's Endurance: [3] = 10
Poen: ...
Poen: boo
Wilco: wait what was that
Igfig: egh
black_dynamite: hehehehe
Wilco: why did diceboy come in here
Wilco: dangit
black_dynamite: It was chatpony disquised as diceboy
Poen: Do I still get the AC bonus though? Or no?
The_CEO: "Surely you can do better you're so close!"
Wilco: Delf, my epic tier character is ready for bahamut
black_dynamite: I know
Poen: "Shall I try again?"
Wilco: okay
The_CEO: "Well, maybe not, but you can do it! .... I hope..."
Wilco: his name is Baron God-Killer Thunderfist Von Killington III
Igfig: it's on a hit, not an effect, so the AC bonus doesn't happen
Igfig: but you might as well, you haven't used your AP yet
Poen: ... AP?
Wilco: action point
Barvo: Action Point!
Wilco: FASTEST FINGERS IN THE WEST BABY
Poen: Oh! So I can try again, right?
Wilco: yes
Poen: 1d20+7 Earth's Endurance
Fortuna: Poen, Earth's Endurance: [5] = 12
Poen: ...
Poen: Fortuna
Igfig: aww
Poen: I don't ... what.
Wilco: Fortuna that was just rude
Poen: End turn in humiliation.
Wilco: 1d20 to hang head in shame
Fortuna: Wilco, to hang head in shame: [8] = 8
Igfig: SCEO
Igfig: Okay, so first he's going to move
Igfig: All you people riding him, Endurance check
Wilco: 1d20+8
Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20+8: [6] = 14
Igfig: except for Thorn, who's holding on tight
Poen: 1d20+7
Fortuna: Poen, 1d20+7: [15] = 22
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Oh phew.
Igfig: Barvo?
Barvo: 1d20+9
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+9: [19] = 28
Igfig: Wilco falls off, the rest of you stay on
Wilco: SOMEONE CATCH ME ON MY WAY DOWN
Wilco: REF CHECK
Poen: Can I try to catch him in any way?
black_dynamite: "I'll catch yo- Wait no I won't. You're too fat"
Igfig: sure, but it won't be easy...
Igfig: hmm
Wilco: I weigh 300 pounds
Igfig: Initiative check, first of all
Wilco: Grab my fat
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Hey Wilco, fall down on the southern end.
black_dynamite: 30000*
Wilco: why the southern end?
black_dynamite: Because that's the butt
Poen: Let's try anyway. What do I roll?
Igfig: Initiative check, first of all
Poen: 1d20+4
Fortuna: Poen, 1d20+4: [13] = 17
Igfig: Okay, you manage to grab his hand as he starts to slide
Poen: "Wilco! Hang on!!"
Igfig: Now, Strength to keep him from falling
Wilco: "I'm hanging on!"
Wilco: oh god
Wilco: I'm sorry poen
Igfig: if you roll poorly, he may pull you off
Wilco: you'll probably get dragged off with me
Poen: ...
Poen: Fortuna, I love you, okay?
Fortuna giggles.
Wilco: YOU CAN DO IT
Barvo: Ooo
Barvo: Drama
Poen: 1d20+5
Fortuna: Poen, 1d20+5: [13] = 18
Poen: YES
Poen: ?
Wilco: not like that, get your head of the gutter
Wilco: YES
Igfig: YES
Wilco: IS IT ENOUGH?
Wilco: YEESSSS
Poen: YESSSS
Poen: 1d20 TO HIGH FIVE WILCO
Fortuna: Poen, TO HIGH FIVE WILCO: [16] = 16
Wilco: I grab on like Jack from Titanic or whatever his name is
Barvo: This is a wonderful fight so far.
Wilco: 1d20 TO HIGHFIVE
Fortuna: Wilco, TO HIGHFIVE: [10] = 10
black_dynamite: YOU LET GO POEN
Wilco: SHIT
Wilco: I MISSED
Igfig: You high five Wilco with your other hand
Igfig: and I guess Barvo grabs your legs to keep you from falling off as well
Poen: Hoorah!
Wilco: Thanks barvo
Barvo: Don't get used to it.
Wilco: Barvo isn't smart enough to understand the value of teamwork
black_dynamite: You shut your mouth
black_dynamite: I will punch you
black_dynamite: Barvo is awesome
Wilco: whyzord is better
Barvo: Barvo did 96 damage in two turns
Wilco: holy fuck
Barvo: do not get mouthy
Igfig: Now, having you all here on his back is useful for the CEO on some ways, and less in the others
Wilco: igfig did delf ever show you whyzord?
black_dynamite: No I did not
Igfig: on the one hand, he takes -2 to hit you guys
The_CEO: "Are you OK up there?"
The_CEO: "Don't fall. You'll likely be crushed."
MiloMagnus: milo is trying not to laugh
Igfig: on the other hand, he can hit all you guys with his bladed legs during hsi scuttle
Igfig: oh, there's Milo
black_dynamite: WOAH. THERE'S MILO
Igfig: the dead guy
The_CEO: "That would be very, very bad for you."
MiloMagnus: roll 1d20 to not laugh
MiloMagnus: I had to take a shit
Wilco: MILO
Wilco: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN
MiloMagnus: there's a lot of open pipes up in here
Wilco: for a half an hour?
MiloMagnus: had to SHIT
Wilco: A HALF AN HOUR?
Igfig: So the CEO slashes at all of you with said bladed legs
The_CEO: Holy shit I'm lagging something fierce....
MiloMagnus: Taco Bell, Pickles and V*
MiloMagnus: couldn't help it
Igfig:  3#1d20+9 vs. AC on: wilco, barvo, poen
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC on wilco: [3] = 12; vs. AC on barvo: [7] = 16; vs. AC on poen: [4] = 13
Igfig: ballsack
Barvo: hit
MiloMagnus: You guys can do it!
Igfig: really?  Huh
MiloMagnus: 1d20 cheering
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, cheering: [19] = 19
Igfig:  2d6+5 on Barvo
Fortuna: Igfig, on Barvo: [1, 4] = 10
MiloMagnus: I cheer on like a made mother fucker
Igfig: oh, wait
Igfig: I forgot the -2 because you're on its back
Igfig: so that's only 14, barvo
Barvo: miss
Igfig:  1d20+9 vs. BD, though
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. BD, though: [19] = 28
Poen: You WISH you could hit me, SCEO legs.
Igfig:  1d8+4 damage and BD is prone
Fortuna: Igfig, damage and BD is prone: [7] = 11
black_dynamite: Woah
black_dynamite: :(
black_dynamite: I am so dead
Wilco: I can heal youy\
Wilco: never mind!
Wilco: oh shit
Igfig: and then he fires his blaster at... I guess he can't hit the guys on his back, so... Milo and BD
Wilco: I just remembered my shining armor feat
black_dynamite: GAH
black_dynamite: I AM NOW DEAD
Wilco: everyone adjacant to me gets +1 to AC
Wilco: and my defender aura is up
Igfig:  2#1d20+7 vs. Fort on : BD, Milo
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. Fort on  BD: [10] = 17; vs. Fort on  Milo: [9] = 16
black_dynamite: CRAAAAAAAAAP
black_dynamite: Welp. I died
Igfig: ouch
Igfig:  3d8+4 radiant damage
Fortuna: Igfig, radiant damage: [1, 7, 4] = 16
black_dynamite: Yup
black_dynamite: Dead
Igfig: Dead dead?
black_dynamite: Hold on
Igfig: Shit, I'm sorry
Wilco: unconcious
black_dynamite: Let me do the math
Wilco: I hope
black_dynamite: -9 HEALTH
Wilco: I swear I will jump down there and rescue him fire emblem style if he is alive
black_dynamite: OH SHOOT
black_dynamite: THAT IS 1
black_dynamite: AWAY
Igfig: Still alive!
black_dynamite: FROM DEAD DEAD
Igfig: what?
Wilco: I AM GOING TO SAVE YOU
black_dynamite: IF I LOSE 1 HP
black_dynamite: I DIE
black_dynamite: COMPLETELY
Igfig: Dead dead is negative bloodied
Barvo: you only have 20 hp max?
Wilco: BLACK DYNAMITE NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Igfig: you have a long ways left to go
black_dynamite: Oh wait
Wilco: *sigh*
black_dynamite: I was looking at my healing surge
black_dynamite: Carry on
Wilco: FOOL
Igfig: sigh
Igfig: okay
black_dynamite: IT IS RIGHT NEXT TO MY BLOODIED VALUE
Wilco: igfig you aren't supposed to say sorry when you kill us
Wilco: you are supposed to drink our tears
Igfig: I am when it's not dramatic and fun
Wilco: true
Igfig: I prefer to savour your pain,because it is delicious
Igfig: anyway
black_dynamite: Oh. Is that what DM's are supposed to be? Waffle, you're fighting bahamut for real on saturday
Wilco: FUCK
Barvo: haha
Wilco: Jigsaw could take him out
The_CEO: "I'm so sorry! Please don't die!"
Wilco: no problem
black_dynamite: "Ooooh. Aaah. The pain."
MiloMagnus: someone needs some anaconda malt liquor
Poen: "You poor, fat, apologetic bastard. We'll put you out of your misery, just you wait."
Igfig: Oh, whoops
Igfig: Thorn was ont he back too
Igfig:  1d20+9-2 vs. AC
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. AC: [16] = 23
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Hit I think.
Igfig:  2d6+5
Fortuna: Igfig,  2d6+5: [2, 4] = 11
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Ouchies.
Igfig: And last of all
Igfig: part of the ceiling collapses
black_dynamite: I swear ig
black_dynamite: If this lands on me
Igfig: directly on top of you guys on the CEO's back
Igfig: and the CEO
Poen: Ow. But okay.
Wilco: ow
The_CEO: "I am so sorry! This place is really falling apart!"
Poen: "I hadn't noticed."
Igfig: also his dying throes
The_CEO: "Please don't die! I need you all!"
Wilco: "I HATE YOU"
Igfig:  5#1d20+7 vs. Ref on: Poen, Wilco, Thorn, Barvo, CEO
Fortuna: Igfig, vs. Ref on Poen: [14] = 21; vs. Ref on Wilco: [15] = 22; vs. Ref on Thorn: [7] = 14; vs. Ref on Barvo: [17] = 24; vs. Ref on CEO: [14] = 21
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Miss.
Wilco: hit
Igfig:  2d8 damage
Fortuna: Igfig, damage: [2, 5] = 7
Igfig: and this area is difficult terrain now
Barvo: 47 hp left
Wilco: just barely bloodied
Wilco: 26 hp
Thorn_the_Gnoll just keeps it pictured in his head what he plans to do after this battle.  Cut up this fat bastard and fry his meat in his own lard, with some breading and seasonings.
Wilco imagines what is in the vault, probably chocolate coins as far as the eye can see
Poen: 27 hp left
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Eye on the prize and all that.
Igfig: done
Barvo: BD
Igfig: Milo
MiloMagnus: ME
Wilco: GO GET EM MASS EFFECT
Barvo: oh right
Igfig: Milo is grabbed by the servitor
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Wait, what are we doing waaaay up there?
MiloMagnus: stealth check!
Igfig: it scuttled
Wilco: Stabbing our swords furiously into it's head
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Oh right he moved, bother.
Igfig: you are grabbed by the servitor, milo
Igfig: no steath
Wilco: dissapear in it;s hand
Wilco: maybe it will become confused
black_dynamite: Yes
Igfig: mouht
black_dynamite: exactly
MiloMagnus: I twist my body all the way around to crawl out
Igfig: grabbed by its mouth
MiloMagnus: 1d20+11 acrobatics
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, acrobatics: [14] = 25
Wilco: oh shit
Wilco: it's going to eat you
Igfig: disappear in its mouth
Igfig: okay, you get out
Wilco: I thought you said he put out
Igfig: for the robot spider servitor, yes
MiloMagnus: AGILE FOOT WORK
Igfig: how will you maintain your relationship with it if you don't put out
MiloMagnus: and FLATTENING SHOT ON THE CEO
MiloMagnus: 1d20+11
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20+11: [14] = 25
Barvo: Through good communication
Igfig: Nice!
MiloMagnus: 2d8+4
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 2d8+4: [3, 2] = 9
MiloMagnus: DAMN
Wilco: that is some good communication
Igfig: That's the attack that also knocks prone, right?
MiloMagnus: yep
Igfig: ...
black_dynamite: Milo puts out arrows
Igfig: hahahahahahahahha
MiloMagnus: I CUM ARROWS BITCHES
Igfig: oh man, this is hilarious
Barvo: too far
MiloMagnus: sorry
MiloMagnus: to be fair
Barvo: I want to go back through this combat and write it up.
Igfig: do you know what happens when you're riding something and that thing goes prone?
MiloMagnus: that servitor was gro[ing me a little to hard and needed to be told off
black_dynamite: Milo's weapon is a crotch thrust
MiloMagnus: also guys
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Um, I don't think I want to know.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: First off though:
MiloMagnus: DOG PILE
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Play Unfair Advantage
Fortuna: Say please.
Igfig: You fall off, and also fall prone.
Wilco: DOG PILE ON MILO
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Play Unfair Advantage please.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll played UNFAIR ADVANTAGE (R)
Fortuna: Play when you or an ally knocks an enemy prone. One ally makes a basic attack against the prone enemy as a free action.
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll drew OPPORTUNISTIC FATE (R)
Fortuna: Play when an enemy makes an opportunity attack against you. You gain a stroke of luck, which you can use at any time before the end of the encounter.
MiloMagnus: DOG PILE ON CEO
Poen: No saving throws?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I'd like to stab him first please.
Barvo: Me me!
black_dynamite: Woah hold on
Barvo: I do the most damage
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Barvo actually.
black_dynamite: CAN I DO THIS ALSO?
Barvo: 1d20+7
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+7: [1] = 8
Barvo: pfft
MiloMagnus: (end turn)
black_dynamite: I could've hit that
Thorn_the_Gnoll: You're no where near him.
MiloMagnus: 1d20 crotch thrust
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, crotch thrust: [9] = 9
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Anyways, we were falling you said.
Wilco: man how much more health does this bastard have
Igfig: Yeah
black_dynamite: Woah. He moved over there
Igfig: it's not far enough to deal damage or anything
Wilco: I want to rip out his heart and scream my victory to this world
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Can I roll an acrobatics check to not?
Igfig: have to roll pretty well
black_dynamite: So Ig
black_dynamite: Poen was holding wilco
Igfig: yes?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Can I get a bonus for having him grabbed with my rope?
black_dynamite: What happened to them?
black_dynamite: Are they locked in a horizontal embrace now/
Barvo: so acrobatics?
Igfig: Good point, Thorn
Poen: 1d20+2 acrobatics
Fortuna: Poen, acrobatics: [12] = 14
Poen: Ah crap
Barvo: 1d20+6
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+6: [19] = 25
Igfig: Poen and Wilco go sprawling
Barvo: I land on my feet
Wilco: Oh poen you're always there for me
Igfig: Barvo lands on his feet I guess
Wilco: *blush*
The_CEO: "Keep it up everyone! I'm getting a lot of system errors in here!"
Igfig: And THorn?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: I was wondering if I get a bonus for my having him grabbed/lassoed/whatever with the rope.
Igfig: yes
Igfig: you do
Igfig: you can avoid falling off
Poen: Don't get too used to it, cupcake.
Igfig: you can stay riding him
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Ah, no number bonus, okay.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+11
Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, 1d20+11: [2] = 13
Poen: ...
Poen: Fortuna
Igfig: nope
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Saw that coming.
Poen: Why do you ... why.
Thorn_the_Gnoll: So still grabbed then?
Wilco: where is it's mouth
Igfig: Technically yes, but only because your rope lets you maintain a grab at a distance
Wilco: I will climb down it's throat and cut out it's heart
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Awesome.
Igfig: you're prone and off its back
Wilco: I know
Igfig: I was taking to thorn
Wilco: o
Igfig: talking
Wilco: oh
Wilco: sorry
Igfig: and his throat is a normal sized human throat
Wilco: I meant the robotg
Igfig: Whose turn is it?
Barvo: BD
MiloMagnus: Wilco, are you also pretending that the CEO sounds like John DeLancie?
Barvo: or the end of Milo
Igfig: Right
MiloMagnus: I already ended my turn
Wilco: who's John Delancie?
black_dynamite: I am going to punch you
MiloMagnus: you know damn well who he is
Igfig: BD, roll to stop dying
Wilco: I... do I?
Barvo: BD make a death save!
black_dynamite: 1d20
Fortuna: black_dynamite, 1d20: [9] = 9
MiloMagnus: 1d20
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, 1d20: [4] = 4
Igfig: or at least not die worse
black_dynamite: :(
MiloMagnus: uh
Wilco: Milo who is he? I probably know, but just forget
Igfig: BD bleeds out
MiloMagnus: BD
MiloMagnus: NOOOOOO
black_dynamite: Welp
black_dynamite: How much do I lose
Poen: Fortuna is being quite temperamental today
Barvo: He has 2 left
Igfig: not dead yet
MiloMagnus: can anyone get to him and heal him?
Igfig: two more failed saves will kill you
black_dynamite: I've never been thsi far into death
Wilco: I can
black_dynamite: How much hp do I lose
Igfig: none
Igfig: Thorn's turn
Barvo: what?
Wilco: wait shit I keep forgetting I already healed Barvo
Wilco: Is there any way I can heal him?
Thorn_the_Gnoll: Barvo's turn.
Barvo: BArvo!
Wilco: like a first aid check?
Igfig: yes
Igfig: er yes, barvo
Barvo: Pressing Attack!
Barvo: I shift two spaces
Barvo: onto his prone form!
Barvo: 1d20+11
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d20+11: [12] = 23
Igfig: Hit
Barvo: 2d12+7
Fortuna: Barvo, 2d12+7: [5, 4] = 16
Barvo: 1d6
Fortuna: Barvo, 1d6: [5] = 5
Barvo: 21 damage
black_dynamite: I swear if none of you heal me I will come back in ghost form and punch you
Igfig: JUST ENOUGH
The_CEO: The entire machine begins shaking and smoking
Wilco: I WILL FIRST AID YOU WITH MY +1 MOD
The_CEO: "YES!"
Igfig: The spider robot cyborg is sprawled on the floor under rubble and people riding it
Barvo: RAarrrhghhhhh!!
The_CEO: "Wait... Oh no..."
Igfig: You walk up to the CEO, raise your axe, and cleave him through the chest
Igfig: he expires with a smil eon his face
The_CEO: "All of hte systems are shutting down. Ther reserve power is keeping me alive."
Igfig: (that's what was supposed to happen, right?)
Barvo: (sure)
Barvo: (except now he is in two pieces
Barvo: )
The_CEO: "It needs a new host so the reserve power can make it function again."
Igfig: (asking Slim too)
The_CEO: "Otherwise I won't be able to access the vault!"
MiloMagnus: Let's put BD in it
MiloMagnus: he'll die otherwise
Wilco: No..
Wilco: I'll do it
Wilco: I've lived a long fat life
MiloMagnus: Wilco, it's the only way
MiloMagnus: NO
Igfig: BD is too thin
Wilco: I've had more chocolate coins then you can shake a stick at
black_dynamite: Oh come on!
Poen: Wilco
MiloMagnus: can wilco fit?
Wilco: It's time for me to go
Poen: Get in there
black_dynamite: I want to be a giant robot guy
Wilco: Goodbye everyone
MiloMagnus: 1d20 hug
Fortuna: MiloMagnus, hug: [18] = 18
Wilco: It was fun traveling with you