Ace_Justice: 1d20 for dongs Fortuna: Ace_Justice, for dongs: [9] = 9 Ace_Justice: dongs are average today Igfig: Last time, on Shetland Firestorm! Lucas_Strongbow: I need to find some armor. To the compendium! Ace_Justice: armor? for what Igfig: You met the CEO of the Chiron Chocolate Corp, who was a giant robot computer cyborg spider thing Heronius_Napalm: To stop things from hitting him generally Igfig: fought and killed him, as per his request Ace_Justice: Oh for lucas, I thought... never mind Lucas_Strongbow: Sylvan armor. that was easy Heronius_Napalm: Barvo did a splendid job. Heronius_Napalm: Good fellow that. Igfig: and installed Wilco and Dreyrugr as his replacement. Igfig: s Igfig: Now, you've gathered your spoils, returned to Horkon, Igfig: come back to extract the weather machine, Igfig: installed it as a reactor in your ship, Igfig: and bought some weaponry. Igfig: Also Slim_Bankshot: Wait, Dreygur as well? Igfig: yeah Igfig: Barvo found an interesting pair of bracers, which he liked very much Slim_Bankshot: I missed something there, but OK Alek_Deckard: They're love was inseperable. Slim_Bankshot: red Lucas_Strongbow: Insperable, and super gross Igfig: but when he put them on, he discovered that they were cursed! They sucked him inside, and he was trapped. Lucas_Strongbow: inseperable, even Igfig: Heronius managed to figure out a way to allow him out temporarily Heronius_Napalm: I felt for the poor fellow. Heronius_Napalm: He has uses you know. Ace_Justice: Hero felt sorry for someone? Ace_Justice: Aah Heronius_Napalm: unlike most of you freeloders. Igfig: some clever enchantments that allowed him to swap places with whoever was wearing the bracers whenever the person experienced a rush of adrenaline Igfig: such as generally happens at the beginnning of a fight Heronius_Napalm: I AM a genius, if I do say so myself. Which I do. Frequently. Igfig: so now, you can choose to wear the bracers or not, Hero Igfig: and if you do Igfig: during battles, you will be replaced by Barvo. Lucas_Strongbow: That is so awesome Heronius_Napalm: Very good then. Heronius_Napalm: I shall wear these bracers. Aryanni: I second that Lucas! Aryanni: Too damned cool. Heronius_Napalm: Since I find battles repulsive Ace_Justice: Indeed! Igfig: Okay. Heronius_Napalm: that means the bracers of mental might are up for grabs Lucas_Strongbow: So now you are basically the Incredible Hulk Heronius_Napalm: Yes, except with an Axe Lucas_Strongbow: Shotgun those bracers Lucas_Strongbow: My strength is diabolical Lucas_Strongbow: And none of the other items appeal to me Heronius_Napalm: Good enough. Ace_Justice: yeah my strength is super high too Lucas_Strongbow: Woo Igfig: sorry, was distracted for a second Igfig: Okay Alek_Deckard: I suppose I'll nab them for Alek then, as his strength is rather poor. Igfig: We are ready to begin? Slim_Bankshot: Back in 4 mins Heronius_Napalm: roughly Alek_Deckard: Or was Lucas claiming them, I'm not sure. Heronius_Napalm: I will need a second in command who can take the helm if we are attacked. Lucas_Strongbow: Snooze you loose Igfig: That sounds like Aryanni then Heronius_Napalm: Or I shall just keep barvo in check if we are in the ship. Lucas_Strongbow: Aryanni's got the same arcana as you Heronius_Napalm: She will do nicely then. Heronius_Napalm: good magical knowledge is a must. Igfig: okay Igfig: where to? Heronius_Napalm: Space Lucas_Strongbow: That is the problem Ace_Justice: To infinity, and beyond! Igfig: ...I guess you can't really tell where you're going until you get there, yeah Igfig: You go! Igfig: Whoosh! Ace_Justice: Do make da magicks! Heronius_Napalm: What is our goal? Profit! Lucas_Strongbow: Set a course for space Aryanni: Space, the final frontier Heronius_Napalm: We set sail for fame and fortune. Heronius_Napalm: Mostly Fortune Heronius_Napalm: for me Igfig: You travel for some time, a couple of weeks in deep space Slim_Bankshot: Here Igfig: this new ship, still nameless, is far more comfortable than your old bus Ace_Justice: They held a make shift funeral for wilco Igfig: what did you do with the old bus, anyway? Just stripped i for parts? Igfig: *it Ace_Justice: I think so Heronius_Napalm: Sold most of it Heronius_Napalm: Burned what we couldn't sell Igfig: ah Ace_Justice: Because hero can't go a week without setting something on fire Lucas_Strongbow: A week? Lucas_Strongbow: Minutes Heronius_Napalm: My record is an hour actually Heronius_Napalm: A testament to my willpower Igfig: Near the end of the second week of your journey Igfig: your communicator starts to buzz Heronius_Napalm: Miraculously, nobody in the party has been murdered Ace_Justice: *bzz bzz bzz* Heronius_Napalm: "Hello?" Igfig: it appears to be a recorded message Alek_Deckard: I just realized an interesting thing about space, there are suns in all directions, space is a hazardous place for vampires. Igfig: a distress call Ace_Justice: Ahh, that's true Lucas_Strongbow: get belows decks Lucas_Strongbow: Computer! Play distress call! Alek_Deckard: I am I am. Heronius_Napalm sighs Igfig: A deep voice says Heronius_Napalm: "This had better result in profit." Aryanni: Hows the daycare bis Hero? Heronius_Napalm: "I don't want to talk about it." Igfig: "Hello? Hello? Anybody there? We need help! We crashed on asteroid, our ship broke. SOS. Send help please!" Igfig: and then it repeats Heronius_Napalm: "There is no mention of reward in this message." Ace_Justice: Dammit, I doubt we're getting any money from this Ace_Justice: well, you guys Lucas_Strongbow: No, but our ship needs a crew Heronius_Napalm: "True." Lucas_Strongbow: They know how to run one Lucas_Strongbow: And they don't have one Heronius_Napalm: "We would have difficulty in a battle." Heronius_Napalm: "not well I think." Igfig: you do have a crew (all these new people you picked up) but yeah, none of oyu are very experienced Heronius_Napalm: "Since they managed to hit an asteroid." Lucas_Strongbow: the riggings a mess, there's Gnoll crap everywhere Lucas_Strongbow: We need the staff Heronius_Napalm: " Alek_Deckard: My buddy's computer just shut down on him, he'll be back in a bit. Heronius_Napalm: "Do we need the mouths to feed?" Lucas_Strongbow: We need all the help we can get Alek_Deckard: And clearly these people are in need of help, so help for help. Heronius_Napalm: There is no getting around your desire to save random strangers is there? Heronius_Napalm: Fine. But this is probably a trap. Lucas_Strongbow: Karma man Lucas_Strongbow: It's all good karma Alek_Deckard: It is what Pelor would will us to do. Heronius_Napalm: If we go by our current expirences in this so-called "universe" they will immediately try to murder us. Ace_Justice: Pelor is very fickle though Lucas_Strongbow: And we've gotten this far ok Lucas_Strongbow: As far as I can tell, eveything always turns out great for us Alek_Deckard: Hardly, you must be thinking of some other deity. Heronius_Napalm sigh Lucas_Strongbow: Well, apart from Wilco Lucas_Strongbow: And Drey Heronius_Napalm: "Set a course." Lucas_Strongbow: And Fingers Heronius_Napalm: "You prick." Lucas_Strongbow: And countless others Ace_Justice: Set course... FOR ADVENTURE Igfig: Fingers just kind of wandered off, didn't he Heronius_Napalm: "Sounds like a good way to rid myself of annoying people anyway." Ace_Justice: Fingers went off to become a legend Heronius_Napalm: http://i367.photobucket.com/albums/oo117/frozenpie22/Shetland%20Firestorm/TheJourneyofFingers.jpg Igfig: also, who is this ace justice guy who keeps talking Igfig: aye Ace_Justice: a disembodied voice Aryanni quit. Igfig: Okay Igfig: The source of the distress call is easy enough to track Lucas_Strongbow: A disturbance in the force. Wait, D&D. In the...arcana TheBouDood joined #pwot_dnd. Igfig: it is, in fact, a medium-sized asteroid Aryanni joined #pwot_dnd. TheBouDood left #pwot_dnd. Igfig: floating alone in the middle of space Igfig: there is, in fact, a ship on it Igfig: and the ship is, in fact wrecked Ace_Justice: NExt thing you know, it's Ood everywhere Igfig: it looks like it was once shaped like some kind of bird or fish or something Lucas_Strongbow: Just swarming with Ood. And Satan Ace_Justice: and a black hol.e Igfig: and as you get closer, you can see that there are people around it Igfig: running around, waving their arms Igfig: oddly short arms Heronius_Napalm: Do they have tails too? Igfig: well, oddly short in general Heronius_Napalm: Are the Raptors? Lucas_Strongbow: Gnomes? Halflings? Heronius_Napalm: I have no patience for Raptors. Igfig: they're all black and white, it looks like Lucas_Strongbow: Kobolds? Goblins? Igfig: definitely humanoid, not raptors Alek_Deckard: How strange. Igfig: but not something you've ever seen beofre Heronius_Napalm: humanoid I can stomache, generally. Heronius_Napalm: Do they look wealthy? Heronius_Napalm: do they have bling or some such? Lucas_Strongbow: Would a nature or perception check help us? Igfig: hard to tell from this range Heronius_Napalm: Inch closer. Heronius_Napalm: very carefully Aryanni: Lets buzz the asteroid, get a closer look Igfig: perception would get a better look, yes Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+12 Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, 1d20+12: [20] = 32 Igfig: oh, well Lucas_Strongbow: Woah Lucas_Strongbow: Strong start Igfig: http://www.lomion.de/cmm/img/dohwar.gif Heronius_Napalm: Lucas and his eagle eyes Ace_Justice: They're... penguins Lucas_Strongbow: PENGUINS Igfig: there are only two of those guys that you can see Heronius_Napalm: those are not fucking humanoids Ace_Justice: SPACE PENGUINS Heronius_Napalm: I am out of here. Heronius_Napalm: we are leaving. Lucas_Strongbow: We need these guys in our crew Igfig: also, what look like some actual humans Heronius_Napalm: I have no patients for birds. Lucas_Strongbow: Hang on one goddamn second Igfig: well yeah, you're not a doctor at all Heronius_Napalm: Cannot stomache them whatsoever. Lucas_Strongbow: It's definitely a trap Dohwar_Merchants: "Wait wait!" Heronius_Napalm: "What!?" Lucas_Strongbow: Bird/fish shaped asteroid? Penguins? Igfig: how close are you buzzing the asteroid? Lucas_Strongbow: Trap central Igfig: no, the ship is vaguely bird shaped Aryanni: It was just a joke, sorry Igfig: the asteroid is asteroid shaped Dohwar_Merchants: "Idiot. They don't care abou-" "Shut up yes the-" "No they don't" Aryanni: the buzz the asteroid, trying to be vaugely top gunnish Heronius_Napalm: "We are not doing that, sit back down." Igfig: okay, so what are you doing Aryanni: was talking to "god" Hero... Lucas_Strongbow quit. Heronius_Napalm: talking with whomever is on this communication device Lucas_Strongbow joined #pwot_dnd. Lucas_Strongbow: Internet went a bit funny Lucas_Strongbow: What are we doing? Igfig: wait Slim, is that on the comms or are they hearing it directly? Heronius_Napalm: I am currently disgusted with these bird abberations. Igfig: how close are you guys? Heronius_Napalm: Far enough Dohwar_Merchants: Directly. I thought they skimmed close Heronius_Napalm: Not that I am aware of Heronius_Napalm: We are maintaining a cautious distance Dohwar_Merchants 4jump up and down to get your attention. Igfig: Aryanni suggested they do Heronius_Napalm: I suggested she shut her face Heronius_Napalm: Then went back to flying the ship Heronius_Napalm: in a cautious manner Igfig: but Hero is the helmsman, so they kept their distance Igfig: so I guess that was on the comms Igfig: the sound quality is terrible, staticy Igfig: evidently their comm is damaged Lucas_Strongbow: How does the asteroid look? Is it hollow? Are there other wrecks? Igfig: there is the one wreck Igfig: it looks like a normal asteroid Lucas_Strongbow: Well, might as well go down Igfig: subtle haze of atmosphere, like most asteroids, but nothing growing on it Lucas_Strongbow: If they do attack us, they're only penguins Heronius_Napalm: I suppose burning them would be enjoyable. Heronius_Napalm: we get close enough for shouting. Igfig: as you pass into the asteroid's atmosphere and gravitational field Igfig: the air around you suddenly becomes remarkably stuffy Heronius_Napalm: "I dislike the looks of this." Ace_Justice: maybe we should light something on fire? Heronius_Napalm: Good plan. Igfig: remember what I was saying earlier about how air is strongly affected by gravity? Heronius_Napalm: I burn the atmosphere Igfig: you try to burn the atmosphere Igfig: your fire fizzles a little and goes out Heronius_Napalm: hmmm Ace_Justice: dang Igfig: it appears that this atmosphere is mostly carbon dioxide Igfig: there is very little oxygen Alek_Deckard: Hey Ace, you're probably on the asteroid with the space penguins. Heronius_Napalm: Bad. Lucas_Strongbow: I imagine Hero is immensely troubled by this Heronius_Napalm: "This is a bad thing." Ace_Justice: That's okay Ace_Justice: I love penguins Ace_Justice: space penguins are way cooler Heronius_Napalm: "Luckily I also have mind control magic." Lucas_Strongbow: Who doesn't? Igfig: and entering the atmosphere has equalized the oxygen levels between your ship and the much larger asteroid Alek_Deckard: Oh dear. Alek_Deckard: Is everyone alright? Igfig: who are you talking to? Alek_Deckard: The people on the ship. Alek_Deckard: Our ship. Igfig: ah Aryanni: sure, breathing is overrated anyways right? Igfig: do vampires breathe? I don't think they do. Ace_Justice: no they don't Igfig: I know constructs don't. Ace_Justice: they are undead Alek_Deckard: Nope they do not, that's why I set about wondering how the others were doing. Igfig: ah, I see Igfig: that makes sense then Igfig: it's stuffy and uncomfortable Igfig: but not unbearable Lucas_Strongbow: Just think of what this is doing to my hair Igfig: okay, so you approach to shouting distance? Heronius_Napalm: for them Heronius_Napalm: I will be using ghost sound to filter my voice extra loud Heronius_Napalm: so I can talk in a normal volume Igfig: cool Lucas_Strongbow: Like a bullhorn Heronius_Napalm: But with magic Heronius_Napalm: Because I am a wizard and wizards are awesome Dohwar_Merchants: You can see the two penguinfolk are arguing noisily Lucas_Strongbow: Waaaak wak wak wak wak Alek_Deckard: Which sorta makes me wish I was playing Thorn, since he can do that too. Ace_Justice: WAK WAK WAK WAK WAK Igfig: hello penguinfolk Penguin: Wak? Penguin: I kid Heronius_Napalm: "Birds, please go away and send out the humans." Lucas_Strongbow: That makes use sound like a polic chopper Igfig: I think Slim is being distracted by a family member or something Lucas_Strongbow: 'please disperse' Dohwar_Merchants: THey want Humans." "Who cares?" "I care." "Shut up." Heronius_Napalm: "we could always leave again." Ace_Justice: Or crash our ship into them? Heronius_Napalm: "I have no issue leaving you here to die." Lucas_Strongbow: No way, this is too interesting Dohwar_Merchants: "We're the only ones here." "Not really." "Mostly." "No." Lucas_Strongbow: What else is here? Lucas_Strongbow: I shout Heronius_Napalm: I do not amplify lucas' voice Dohwar_Merchants: "Pirates." "Raiders." Ace_Justice: Steel rangers Heronius_Napalm: "Okay, we are done here." Heronius_Napalm: "Let's go" Dohwar_Merchants: "Not really here though." "Will be." "When?" "Later." Lucas_Strongbow: Aryanni, ignore him Lucas_Strongbow: Did you send out the distress call? Dohwar_Merchants: "We're merchants! We can reward you if you help us!" Lucas_Strongbow: There we go Aryanni: I like loot... Dohwar_Merchants: "Can but won't." "Will actually." "No." "Shut it." Lucas_Strongbow: I like the second one Aryanni: I don't like liers though... mib_q2vn4f joined #pwot_dnd. Lucas_Strongbow: I think we should land and talk proper Heronius_Napalm: I dislike that suggestion Dohwar_Merchants: "Don't leave us!" "Or do. Then no loot." Heronius_Napalm: "how about I kill one of you, then talk to the other." Dohwar_Merchants: "You said we wouldn-" "And who says we will?" Aryanni: I agree with hero. Heronius_Napalm: I warm up a magic missile Lucas_Strongbow: That's good diplomacy Lucas_Strongbow: Someone do an insight check Dohwar_Merchants: "No don't!" "Fine by me." Heronius_Napalm: "Who wants it?" Lucas_Strongbow: Find out if they're genuine Dohwar_Merchants: "I hate you." "I you more." Heronius_Napalm: 1d20+9 insight Fortuna: Heronius_Napalm, insight: [17] = 26 Dohwar_Merchants: They are genuine Dohwar_Merchants: They are merchants alright Lucas_Strongbow: Let's pick em up Dohwar_Merchants: The fact that their merchant ship is nearby is a good indicator. Aryanni: I don't like strangers wandering the ship Heronius_Napalm: http://i367.photobucket.com/albums/oo117/frozenpie22/Shetland%20Firestorm/MagicMissile.jpg Dohwar_Merchants: "Good hurry." "Or not." Heronius_Napalm: Okay, I shoot the negative one in the face. Alek_Deckard: "And, Heronius, even if they don't offer up a reward for their rescue you could charge them a fee for the trip and cargo hold." Dohwar_Merchants: Whaaaaat? Heronius_Napalm: "You were warned." Heronius_Napalm: "We could also just loot your ship and your corpse." Dohwar_Merchants: "Don't shoot him! He has the key!" "True actually." "It's a code. "A hard one." Heronius_Napalm: "You know who also has a nice key?" Heronius_Napalm: "a very large barbarian friend of mine." Heronius_Napalm: "He can open most doors." Dohwar_Merchants: "It's his birthday!" "What's my birthday?" "I don't know!" "Exactly." Igfig: also hero, fire doesn't work well here remember Heronius_Napalm: Magic missile is not made of fire. Heronius_Napalm: it is made of force. Dohwar_Merchants: Also the gravity is very weak since it is a smallish asteroid Igfig: ah, yes then Igfig: yeah Igfig: I mean, gravity is more of a binary on/off thing Heronius_Napalm: Then the force of it can knock you into space. Igfig: which is why you have normal gravity in small ships Heronius_Napalm: I do not fuck around. Igfig: but yeah, the gravity's range is pretty low Dohwar_Merchants: "Look we'll pay you!" "We will?" "Yes." "Why?" Heronius_Napalm: "Now you are speaking my language." Lucas_Strongbow: There we go Dohwar_Merchants: "Money fixes everything!" "True." "So lets" "Not" Heronius_Napalm: "Though I am not sure how the second one is still alive." Dohwar_Merchants: "You stingy-" "Very" Heronius_Napalm: "I can fix that with another one or two of these." Lucas_Strongbow: Maybe we shoud search the wreckage? Heronius_Napalm: before or after I kill these annoying bird monsters? Dohwar_Merchants: "What wreckage?" "Don't dis our ship buddy." Alek_Deckard: If we are to do something I'd suggest with some haste, they did mention pirates, or raiders, of some kind earlier, and that they would return. Lucas_Strongbow: Oh, it's supposed to look like that? Lucas_Strongbow: Good point Heronius_Napalm: "Let's hear it then. What do you want?" Dohwar_Merchants: "We want out." "Off." "Close enough." Heronius_Napalm: "alright" Heronius_Napalm: "progress." Lucas_Strongbow: What happened to your ship then? Heronius_Napalm: "What do you need us to do, and what are you offering for the service?" Dohwar_Merchants: "How did you find us?" "The call?" "Probably." "Fools." Heronius_Napalm: "That's not something you need to know." Dohwar_Merchants: "It was a trap!" "Apparently." "Well you fell for it." Heronius_Napalm: "Fuck you lucas." Heronius_Napalm: "Fuck you so much. Alek_Deckard: "A trap means treasure." Heronius_Napalm: I missile the penguins Heronius_Napalm: Then I scream. Alek_Deckard: "They aren't the ones springing it!" Ace_Justice: Should... should I come in? This is getting a little ridiculous Lucas_Strongbow: Oh well. It's been a boring couple weeks, a fight should be fun Heronius_Napalm: "I will murder you bird bastards." Lucas_Strongbow: And now we get Barvo! Ace_Justice: I've lost track of what is going on Heronius_Napalm: if we are in init we do yeah Igfig: You are one of the humans here on this asteroid, yes Ace_Justice: Okay Igfig: well, mul Igfig: but you know what I mean Ace_Justice: eeyup Igfig: any new PCs are also here on this asteroid Heronius_Napalm: Hello Miss Vess Igfig: From Innistrad to random asteroid, hurrah Heronius_Napalm: indeed Heronius_Napalm: She is a walker Dohwar_Merchants: "So can you get us away from here?" "Quickly" "Before they come back." "Hopefully." "Which may be soon." "Probably." Heronius_Napalm: Bring the loot with you. Heronius_Napalm: Then we will leave. Lucas_Strongbow: As much as you can carry Dohwar_Merchants: "That's the thing." "Not a lot." We were headed back to port." "To restock." Dohwar_Merchants: "Get us away from here." "Lots of pay." "None if we have to stay." "Lets go." Lucas_Strongbow: I'll take that deal Heronius_Napalm: If you don't pay us. Lucas_Strongbow: I'm all about investment Heronius_Napalm: I own you. Heronius_Napalm: So hop on. Dohwar_Merchants: "Fair enough." "We can pay." "Land that thing." Heronius_Napalm: We Land Heronius_Napalm: Weapons at the ready Heronius_Napalm: in case of funny business PwotMoose joined #pwot_dnd. PwotMoose: and I'm here Dohwar_Merchants: (Need to talk with Ig for a sec) Igfig: Hi Brigsby Heronius_Napalm: Ahh brigsby, mind the engines would you. Dohwar_Merchants: (explaint everything to moose in OOC) Heronius_Napalm: I need more pop and candy. Igfig: I need more candy Dohwar_Merchants 4all climb aboard Igfig: more shitty, shitty discount halloween candy Igfig: back in a sec Dohwar_Merchants: "Uh-oh." "Bad news." "Not gonna like it." "Wanna hear it?" Heronius_Napalm: liftoff Heronius_Napalm: Depends. Heronius_Napalm: If it's bad enough I may kill you for it Igfig: and back Heronius_Napalm: So say it at your own risk Dohwar_Merchants: "Go ahead." "What? No." "No reward." "Well that's true." Heronius_Napalm: ... Dohwar_Merchants: "When you entered the atmosphere." "Your air." "It equalized." "Only have a few days now." Heronius_Napalm: I see. Dohwar_Merchants: "Won't make it far." "Not with everyone." Heronius_Napalm: Jettison the merchants Aryanni: Jettisoning sir! Alek_Deckard: "Hold on now, there must surely be some place we can reach that does not involve killing them?" Lucas_Strongbow: WAIT Dohwar_Merchants: "I might have a plan." "Since when?" "Just now." "You didn't tell me?" "How could I?" "I'm right here." "So?" Lucas_Strongbow: What's the nearest planet? Heronius_Napalm: Does your plan involve your continued existance? Heronius_Napalm: because it might have some issues. Brigsby: Please be Leopard Seal Planet Dohwar_Merchants: "Nearest planet." "Not a planet." "A spaceport." "Few weeks." "Too far." With this air anyway." Heronius_Napalm fingers are tapping Heronius_Napalm sparks pop out on each tap Heronius_Napalm: *tap* *sizzile* Dohwar_Merchants: "So what's the plan." "The raiders." "They're bad." "Well yeah." "So?" "They have air." "Probably." "Certainly." Heronius_Napalm: *tap* *sizzile* Heronius_Napalm: so? Alek_Deckard: "Ah, kill the pirates, take their air?" Lucas_Strongbow: We kill them. Take the air Dohwar_Merchants: "Wait for them?" "Why?" "They'll bring more." "Who says?" "Why wouldn't they?" "Good point." "I know." Lucas_Strongbow: Simples Brigsby: Or, kill the pirates, take their air, then jettison the penguins so we have even more air Ace_Justice: We are not jettisoning the penguins Heronius_Napalm: *tap* *sizzile* Dohwar_Merchants: "They killed our mercs." "Eye for an eye." "Sounds good." "Pretty much." Aryanni: I like your idea Brigsby. Alek_Deckard: "Additionally this would prevent the pirates from causing further issues for others." Brigsby: I don't even know who you are, Ace, so you don't get a say Aryanni: more loot if we kill the pirates too though Alek_Deckard: "Another reason against jettisoning the small flightless space birds, they know space. I'm afraid we have no such knowledge." Dohwar_Merchants: "They'll show up." "When they think you're dead." "Or sooner." Since they didn't get us." Igfig: Incidentally, Ace, you've been with these dohwar (they call themselves dohwar) for a while now Ace_Justice: I can't really say anything Ace_Justice: no tongue Igfig: oh yeah, that's handy isn't it Igfig: in any case, they've been talking like this the entire time Igfig: months Dohwar_Merchants: You sold it for crack, I bet Ace_Justice: It got cut out when I tried to escape my enslavement Heronius_Napalm: Wait, how much is a tongue worth? Ace_Justice: 10k on the black market Dohwar_Merchants: Depends on what kind, size. Igfig: depends what kind of tongue Heronius_Napalm: because there are a few I want to sell. Brigsby: holy shit I'm having a RL earthquake Igfig: oooh Dohwar_Merchants: WOOOO Heronius_Napalm: put your dick on the floor Igfig: not a big one, I hopeÉ Igfig: É Heronius_Napalm: see what happens Igfig: agh I can`t make question marks Brigsby: My bottle of water just sorta started shaking back and forth Ace_Justice: go to configuration and set the keyboard function to americas Ace_Justice: american* Heronius_Napalm: yeah Lucas_Strongbow: Obviously a T Rex Brigsby: been going about a minute now Lucas_Strongbow: Run Ace_Justice: it will be on French Canadian right now, that happens to me Heronius_Napalm: its on europe or japan or something Brigsby: anyway, at the rate the penguins are talking, they'll use up all our air in like... an hour. So jettison them. Heronius_Napalm: Agreed Heronius_Napalm: Also, we get to murder pirates. Heronius_Napalm: I hope they are good enough pirates to have some loot on hand. Aryanni: And get more loot! Alek_Deckard: I still argue against the jettisoning of the penguins, they know space, we don't know where we are going. Alek_Deckard: How long will that air last while we're lost? Heronius_Napalm: We won't get lost. Heronius_Napalm: We will torture some info out of them, or the pirates. Alek_Deckard: I will not stand for these actions. Heronius_Napalm: Then sit down. Brigsby: Okay, torturing may be a bit far. Can we sell them to the pirates? Heronius_Napalm: For what? they don't have anything anyone wants Aryanni: And that is better how Brigsby? I like it, but still. Brigsby: Labor? Pirate ships need space oar rowers or something Igfig: they have quite a few things, actually Igfig: being merchants Igfig: no weapons, but lots of trade goods Heronius_Napalm: We can take that stuff. Brigsby: yeah, we can obviously take that first Heronius_Napalm: They said they were on the loading mission Dohwar_Merchants: "My guess?" "In about a day." "They'll want to wait." "For the air to run out." Heronius_Napalm: So they had very little Alek_Deckard: Plus they are merchants, they are worth more alive and with us when we get to a port then they are otherwise. Alek_Deckard: Reward money, a favor with some trading company. Igfig: oh, my bad Lucas_Strongbow: I have a plan Igfig: but yeah, that is entirely true Lucas_Strongbow: Everyone play dead Lucas_Strongbow: Like we suffocated Alek_Deckard: Surely you can think of something to appeal to your sense of greed that they could grant to you once delivered safely to a port. Igfig: even if they have no money here, they have more back at home Lucas_Strongbow: Or are at least low on air Heronius_Napalm: Fine. Igfig: good idea, Lucas Heronius_Napalm: Ransom them to themselves. Heronius_Napalm: for now. Heronius_Napalm: Illusion time Aryanni glares at Lucas because of his suggestion about playing dead, it is beneath me Lucas_Strongbow: Oh yeah Heronius_Napalm: I will simulate a distress call of some sort Brigsby: I like the play dead idea Lucas_Strongbow: You just stand there Lucas_Strongbow: Or hide Aryanni: I'll sit, it's comfy Brigsby falls over 'dead' Lucas_Strongbow: Play dead is more sneaky Fortuna: Say please. Lucas_Strongbow: I like sneaky Brigsby: play dead is more sneaky please Fortuna: You do not have that card in hand. Igfig: heh Heronius_Napalm: burrn Brigsby: worth a shot Igfig: all right Alek_Deckard: Since it was brought up: Alek_Deckard: New hand please. Fortuna: Alek_Deckard drew a new hand. Fortuna: Alek_Deckard drew CAUTIOUS MANEUVER (C) Fortuna: Play at the start of your turn. Until the end of your turn you take half damage from Opportunity attacks against you. Fortuna: Alek_Deckard drew FULL SPEED AHEAD! (C) Fortuna: Play when you charge on your turn. You gain combat advantage against the target of the charge attack. Fortuna: Alek_Deckard drew GAMBLER'S EFFORT (R) Fortuna: Play at the start of your turn. Roll a d20 to determine this card's effect. 1-9 your attacks deal half damage. 10-20 your attacks gain a bonus to damage rolls equal to 2 + one half your level Igfig: is that the plan you`re going withÉ Heronius_Napalm: Seems to be Ace_Justice: wait why are we playing dead? Igfig: also one sec, gonna reload mibbit Heronius_Napalm: We send an open channel distress call. At shortish range Igfig quit. Lucas_Strongbow 'chokes' to death in a theatrical fashion Igfig joined #pwot_dnd. Heronius_Napalm: "Out of air, need aid, come soon." Dohwar_Merchants: Back in a sec Igfig: damn, still no question marks Brigsby: we're playing dead so the pirates will come to loot our bodies and we can kill them Heronius_Napalm: You people probably don't need to lie down yet. Ace_Justice: igfig Igfig: yesÉ Alek_Deckard: I go down just below decks to hide. Ace_Justice: it's your computer resetting the keyboard settings Brigsby: My tiny legs tire easily Alek_Deckard: wait. Ace_Justice: bottom left corner there should be a keyboard simple Igfig: it`s only on mibbit, not anywhere else Ace_Justice: click on that and set it to american, or canadian Ace_Justice: oh Ace_Justice: then I don't know Alek_Deckard: I'll just lay down dead, in the spot where the pirates are most likely to come on board and check for someone's pulse, if they bother with that. Igfig: don`t worry about it Igfig: okay Ace_Justice: is Alek our local vampire? Alek_Deckard: Nope, I'm the local cleric of Pelor. Igfig: the dohwar said they didn`t expect the pirates to be back right now Alek_Deckard: who happens to be a vampire. Ace_Justice: yeah that would be kind of ironic were you a vampire Ace_Justice: oh my Igfig: also, you can see a fair distance around here Heronius_Napalm: That's why we sent the distress signal Ace_Justice: that timing was like a comedy movie Alek_Deckard: Thanks. Igfig: so if the pirates show up, you`ll have a while to prepare Brigsby: can we shut the penguins up so they don't actually use up all the air in the meantime? Aryanni: anyone got any duct tape on hand? Igfig: you could put them in a cupboard or something Igfig: or that Aryanni: duct tape: the universal answer to all problems Heronius_Napalm: heehee Alek_Deckard: I pull some duct tape out of a pocket, and with a brief apology to the penguins, duct tape their beaks shut while explaining the purpose. Heronius_Napalm cracks fingers Heronius_Napalm: I place them in a cupboard Ace_Justice: *Looks left and right confused* Igfig: they frown and put their heads together Dohwar_Merchants: Here I am Heronius_Napalm: explaining that I hate looking at them. Igfig: in a cupboard reedlepee: Ug, finally finished my character sheet. Ace_Justice: "Umm..." Dohwar_Merchants: Can a vampire even play dead? reedlepee: And now back to the shadows Alek_Deckard: Very easily. Igfig: yes, I expect they`re unusually good at it Dohwar_Merchants: Doesn't he just need to kinda stand around to do that? Igfig: anyway Igfig: yep Aryanni: is it a permanent stae of being, playing dead for them that is. Igfig: are you making any more preparations, or are you ready to start waiting Brigsby: I'll summon my familiar Alek_Deckard: I also stow the penguins away down below where they should be safely out of any harms way once the pirates arrive. Brigsby: just because Igfig: sure Heronius_Napalm: Do we have any traps we could set? Dohwar_Merchants: You guys come up with a plan. I have a thing to take care of Igfig: sure, if you want to jury-rig something Ace_Justice: Maybe we can make some sort of pendalum of death? Heronius_Napalm: Also, load all of the weapons, have them ready to fire. Ace_Justice: a trip wire that causes an axe to fall onto them Igfig: where you putting that Ace_Justice: err Ace_Justice: that's a mighty fine questiomn Heronius_Napalm: hmm Ace_Justice: question* Ace_Justice: right at the entrance? Heronius_Napalm: We can't just trap out the first one in Heronius_Napalm: or the rest will get wise Ace_Justice: oh yeah Igfig: entrance to what Brigsby: it's a boat Brigsby: the entrance is all around Heronius_Napalm: Also, how does one enter this ship? Igfig: yeah Lucas_Strongbow: Wait till they get close and board Lucas_Strongbow: Fire the grapple Alek_Deckard: We should put it at one of the interior doors, not the front entrance, probably the second door in below deck. Lucas_Strongbow: They're trapped Lucas_Strongbow: Lemon squeezy Igfig: you have a gangplank you can extend, but in space you just hop over the end Igfig: er, side Heronius_Napalm: how...pedestrian Heronius_Napalm: Remind me to get us a roof. Heronius_Napalm: anyway Brigsby: well we're sorry we didn't have enough money for the escalator, Hero Igfig: you could also load yourself into a ballista I guess Heronius_Napalm: Yes, trap all of the hold doors. Igfig: sure, who`s got thievery Ace_Justice: erm Alek_Deckard: 1d20+11 Fortuna: Alek_Deckard, 1d20+11: [1] = 12 Ace_Justice: I've got +4, but only if we really need it Ace_Justice: AHAHAHA Heronius_Napalm: haha Brigsby: he does Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+11 Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, 1d20+11: [3] = 14 Ace_Justice: 1d20+4 Fortuna: Ace_Justice, 1d20+4: [19] = 23 Lucas_Strongbow: Wow that was better Ace_Justice: POW Alek_Deckard: Hmm.. vamps have a knack for it, but being a cleric I kinda suck at it. Heronius_Napalm: 1d20+4 Fortuna: Heronius_Napalm, 1d20+4: [16] = 20 Lucas_Strongbow: Ace Justice in the house Brigsby: Ace wins, whoever he is Igfig: okay Heronius_Napalm: Heronius knows a thing or two about mundane traps Igfig: ace and hero manage to set up some simple traps Igfig: okay, now Ace_Justice: *gives a thumbs up to Hero and smiles* Heronius_Napalm: *curt nod* Igfig: there`s a small thing to consider Igfig: it`s 10:00 Igfig: we usually take quite a while to do our battles Heronius_Napalm: are you meta-ruling this. Brigsby: and combat takes forever Heronius_Napalm: that is true though Igfig: it took us a bit longer than I expected to get to this point Heronius_Napalm: It would easily hit 2 AM here. Igfig: and I don`t particularly want to stay up way late tonight Igfig: yeah Igfig: and especially seeing as this plan of yours has a bunch of parts to it, and will take a good while to do justice Igfig: I think we should not have this fight today Igfig: that said, it`s kind of early to stop Heronius_Napalm: It will mostly be Barvo Firing himself out of a ballista and murdering everything Igfig: yeah Igfig: do we have anything else to do hereÉ Aryanni: Now that I MUST see! Heronius_Napalm: Next time on Shetland Firestorm! Dohwar_Merchants: Sorry guys Dohwar_Merchants: Where are we? Heronius_Napalm: Trying to decide what to do Heronius_Napalm: Combat, or misc. Dohwar_Merchants: Well, it's an asteroid Igfig: the sneak preview for next week is just two minutes of Barvo flying through space, yelling Dohwar_Merchants: (spoiler alert) Alek_Deckard: And then right at the end a someone making a comment on it. Igfig: ``They won`t know what hit them.` Igfig: SMASH TO BLACK Igfig: okay, that`s a reasonable place to stop Heronius_Napalm: yes, that is a thing I wish to be a part of. Alek_Deckard: I was thinking something deadpan snarky more myself. Aryanni: Please, dear lord, say that the barbarian wears more than the stereotypical loincloth, don't want to see anything from the backside... Heronius_Napalm: He has hide armor Brigsby: also, let's have someone skilled at ranged shoot him Aryanni: Praise god! Brigsby: we can't have Barvo shot out into the abyss Heronius_Napalm: I haven't decided what he looks like yet Lucas_Strongbow: Me Igfig: I am imagining somebody taking off sunglasses while saying this Lucas_Strongbow: I shoot Barvo Ace_Justice quit. Igfig: anyway Igfig: good night everybody Aryanni: Night Ig! FR-Z-N quit. Lucas_Strongbow: "Who ordered the Barbarian?" Lucas_Strongbow: Or something Dohwar_Merchants: Waitwhat? Brigsby: I imagine that you say everything while taking off sunglasses, Ig Igfig: next week will be pirate fights and mystery tracking! Igfig quit.